Welcome, Boys and Ghouls....

SHOCKTOBERFEST IS UPON US!

I started the festivities early last night with Hotel Transylvania, a flick that throws all the famous monsters together for a lavish party...a mad monster party, if you will.

HA! MADNESS!

 
In this case, it's the 118th birthday of Dracula's daughter Mavis. All's well and good until a human happens on the festivities, falling in love with the beautiful birthday girl while Dracula, proprietor of the titular hotel, tries to keep the others from finding out about the surprise guest. The all-star voice cast features Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg, Fran Drescher and Steve Buscemi (to name just a few), and the script provides the expected monster jokes, including their alternate versions of our human ways -- for instance, instead of "Do Not Disturb" signs, shrunken heads yell the words and order maid service. It's all quite clever!

Unfortunately, making those mad monster jokes is all the clever we can muster, and takes up a large part of the running time. Maybe the kids will love it in the theater -- although if the kids sitting near me were any indication, maybe not -- but they won't remember this film down the road. The stuff with Mavis works. We get the lesson about letting go and following your own path and loving who you love no matter who they are, and Adam Sandler and Selena Gomez do some admirable voice work. Also, it's the only time the film slows down from its breakneck pace. Otherwise, it's JOKE JOKE JOKE SETPIECE JOKE JOKE JOKE AHHH MONSTERS AHH HUMAN IT'S SO DIFFERENT IN THIS WORLD RIGHT RIGHT HUH? HUH? I mean, look, a lot of those quick gags were funny, but after a while it becomes clear that they're filler for a movie that just isn't there.

Obviously, I was reminded of the Rankin-Bass Mad Monster Party, and not just because of the general plot.

HA! MADNESS!

 
No, I was reminded because that, too, was a concept in search of a story. Characters didn't break out into song so much as they stumbled upon dirges, randomly dropped into the tale to lengthen what must have been a ten-minute story into a full hour. Hotel Transylvania is much the same way, only it doesn't give us any time at all to watch what's happening. Where Mad Monster Party lingers too long, Hotel Transylvania skips ahead before it's time. I laughed out loud, certainly, but it was equal parts compliment and incredulity.

The voice-work was great, though! And as a sidenote, I appreciated that they cast Fran Drescher as the Bride of Frankenstein, following Mad Monster Party's footsteps in giving the role to a beloved comedienne with a distinctive voice. Of course, Phyllis Diller had better lines (for whatever that's worth), but Fran!

Before we sign off for the day, a few things.

First: You have spoken, and the results are in. And it should be no surprise: last year, this film came in second place to Rosemary's Baby, and no one at all voted for Don't Look Now or The Changeling. This year, everyone got at least one vote, but it was clear from the beginning: Poltergeist it is! Sorry, Friday the 13th, always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

Second: My best friend and I came up with the name Shocktoberfest in college....only to find out later that such term was already adopted by Stacie Ponder of Final Girl. So while you're celebrating Shocktoberfest with us, make sure you hit up her party, too! She's one of the best film writers out there, passionate and hilarious, with an appreciation of Charles Nelson Reilly.

Third: Remember to tune in tomorrow for the return of Casting Coup Tuesdays with Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte.

Play us out, Phyllis.

Casting Coup Tuesday: Carrie

Remember in Cinema paradiso, how that kid's great mentor ran the local moviehouse and introduced him to cinema and kept all the kisses the Vatican made them cut out? I like to think Andrew was that mentor for me in college. He furthered my knowledge of film noir by introducing our class to Kiss Me Deadly, The Reckless Moment, One False Move and a whole semester of other under-seen classics. He encouraged my love of the bizarre and the campy through screenings of Myra Breckinridge, The Jezebels, and For Your height Only. He introduced me to martial arts films like Master of the Flying Guillotine and The Crippled Masters, my first forays into this little-respected genre. He really is the Mr. Miyagi to my Daniel-san.

Among the great things he did for me was add, at the very least, two films to my all-time favorites list. The first is Xanadu, which quickly rocketed up the ladder to get into my Top Ten of All Time (one day I'll list my top 100, but that's for a day when I see enough movies...maybe when I'm 25 or 30). The other is the subject of today's Casting Coup: Carrie, the 1976 film directed by Brian de Palma.

 Starring Edie McClurg as Helen, the unlikeliest of popular girls

I'm a lover of horror films. It's a genre that can always be tweaked and toyed with, so broad that any number of thrillers or dramas could also be considered horror, in one way or another. Many times, we get a horror film that is big on gore and blood and teens in peril, but not so big on characters and atmosphere and suspense. Carrie delivers on those fronts, but it's always a bit curious because, truthfully, there is no real "horror" until the film's famous climax: the prom. The fact that social outcast Carrie White is telekinetic seems like a bizarre throwaway device -- like Javier Bardem's ability to communicate with the dead in Biutiful -- for much of the film. Rather than get all spooky and weeeeeird about little ol' telekinesis, the film focuses on Carrie the Person, walking on eggshells whether at school with the mean girls or at home with her religious fanatic mother. Ok, the movie does have freaky telekinesis scenes sprinkled throughout, but they grow as Carrie grows...until public humiliation turns her into an unholy monster.

I loved Carrie from the first frame. I have the soundtrack, I quote it with friends, I bought the three-pack that also includes The Rage: Carrie 2 and the TV movie version with Patty Clarkson, and I watched Snake Island just because William Katt (nice guy Tommy Ross) was in it. Actually, I'm such a huge fan...I even adore the Broadway flop. Yes, I have a bootleg soundtrack -- there was never an official one -- and I play it constantly. It's terrible and amazing, and when those powers combine, Captain Planet can suck it.

In my re-casting of Carrie, I kept the musical in mind, and with the exceptions of Billy Nolan and Sue Snell, all the cast members have proven musical chops. As for Megan Fox's desire to lead the recently announced remake...honey, can't you just toss on a baseball cap and rock the Norma Watson?

All original cast images come from Aveleyman, a great source for screencaps and cast pics.

BILLY NOLAN

Who is He: Chris's boyfriend, a thug who helps plan Carrie's humiliation. Billy helps to "collect" the pig's blood.

Originally played by: Academy Award Nominee for Best Actor (Saturday Night Fever, Pulp Fiction), BAFTA Award Nominee for Best Actor (Pulp Fiction), Golden Globe Winner for Best Actor - Musical/Comedy (Get Shorty), SAG Award Nominee for Best Actor (Pulp Fiction) and Best Ensemble (Get Shorty, Hairspray), Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Hairspray)

John Travolta (Staying Alive, Old Dogs)

My Choice:

Alex Pettyfer (I Am Number Four, Beastly)

Pettyfer's not a bad actor, he's just more effective as a jerk. In Beastly, at least, and that's fine, that's a career. Look at Christopher McDonald! A role like this really allows an actor to loosen up, too, without any of the restraint of having to be likable.

TOMMY ROSS

Who is He: Sue's boyfriend, a track star and academic, an all-around nice guy. He takes Carrie to the prom on Sue's request, hoping to do a nice thing for a misunderstood girl. Then, of course, everything goes to hell.

Originally played by:

William Katt (House, Jawbreaker)

My Choice:

Chord Overstreet ("Glee", The Hole in 3D)
Unless something happens next season, Overstreet is the poster-boy of nice guy athletes on Glee. I'm always hoping those kids get more work outside the show, and he's great so far.


CHRIS HARGENSEN
Who is She: The resident mean girl, finally punished for making Carrie's life hell. After being banned from the prom, she makes a plan to get Carrie elected Prom Queen so she can exact her revenge.

Originally played by:

Nancy Allen (Dressed to Kill, RoboCop)

My Choice:

Selena Gomez (Ramona and Beezus, Monte Carlo)
One of the strongest Disney actresses, actually. While she's hinted at snottiness and being a "bad girl" before, I'd love to see her go all-out vicious. She's so cool.


SUE SNELL
Who is She: At first, she's teasing Carrie with the other girls. But since Sue is a pretty nice girl, she comes up with a plan to help her: persuade Tommy to take her to the prom. Sue also happens to be neighbors with Carrie, so she knows what kind of family the girl comes from.

Originally played by: Academy Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (Yentl), Golden Globe Nominee for Best Actress - Musical/Comedy (Crossing Delancey), SAG Award Nominee for Best Ensemble (Traffic)

Amy Irving (Tuck Everlasting, Adam)

My Choice: Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World)

Ellen Wong ("Combat Hospital")
Her turn in Scott Pilgrim was impressive; now we need to see more of her. Sue is a very different person from Knives Chau, but I feel like we saw a bit of Sue in Wong's final scene.


COACH DESJARDIN
Who is She: Girls' coach...obviously. She tries to educate Carrie and make her feel more comfortable with herself. Coach is even suspicious of Sue and Tommy's plan, not wanting the little outcast to get hurt.

Originally played by:

Betty Buckley (Tender Mercies, Another Woman)

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee/Golden Globe Winner for Best Actress [Musical/Comedy] (What's Love Got to with It?)

Angela Bassett (Waiting to Exhale, Meet the Browns)
I immediately felt that she was the perfect woman for this role. First, I'd listen to her no matter what position she held at the school: she's so authoritative! Second, those arms. Of course she's an athletics director.


MARGARET WHITE
Who is She: Carrie's religious single mother. And I mean crazy religious, to a point that Jesus would find excessive. She sees Carrie's period not as, you know, normal, but as a sign that the girl is as cursed as she once was. Because after the blood come the boys, sniffing around.

Originally played by: Academy Award Nominee for Best Actress (The Hustler) and Best Supporting Actress (Carrie, Children of a Lesser God), BAFTA Award Nominee for Best Foreign Actress (The Hustler), Golden Globe Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (Carrie)

Piper Laurie (The Faculty, Another Harvest Moon)

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress, SAG Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress and Best Ensemble (Good Will Hunting)

Minnie Driver (The Phantom of the Opera, Barney's Version)
I had my Carrie settled, so then I just needed a great actress who looked like she could have birthed my Carrie. I surprised myself by settling on Minnie Driver, but damn it feels so right. She's such an underappreciated actress, and I feel like she could bring the crazy without being unbelievable. I mean, Piper's shoes are tough to fill, but Minnie's up to the challenge.


CARRIE WHITE
Who is She: Our telekinetic heroine, a social outcast whose powers actually give her some confidence, up until the pig's blood fall son her.

Originally played by: Academy Award Winner for Best Actress (Coal Miner's Daughter), BAFTA Award Nominee for Best Actress (Coal Miner's Daughter, Missing, In the Bedroom), Golden Globe Winner for Best Actress - Musical/Comedy (Coal Miner's Daughter, Crimes of the Heart) and Drama (In the Bedroom), Indie Spirit Winner for Best Actress (In the Bedroom), SAG Award Nominee for Best Actress and Best Ensemble (In the Bedroom)

Sissy Spacek (The Straight Story, The Help)

My Choice:

Emily Browning (Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Sleeping Beauty)
 Because she has that odd kind of beauty that can be believably plained up (like The Uninvited with Elizabeth Banks). She's a neat actress, too, one who plays confidence and distinct lack thereof with equal ease. Look at her in Sucker Punch, ably playing the innocent until it's time to take action. I would love to see her play Carrie.