Friday, January 16, 2009

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Hosting the Hollmanns

With the Hollmann Awards ahead, I feel it's time to offer you, the public, a chance to choose something. Yes, this year, you actually get a choice in how things go. Kind of.

See, what we need is a host, and while it's tempting to just go with somebody random, I'd rather it be someone we can all love and admire. At the same time, I also want it to be someone I just adore, and someone who did not have a film come out this year.

So, I'm giving you a list of options from which to choose. I've narrowed it down to ten, all women. Because I love women.

Beatrice Arthur
AKA: Dorothy Zbornak
Film credits: Mame, Lovers and Other Strangers, History of the World: Part I, That Kind of Woman
Arthur has appeared twice on the Hollmann Awards, each time introducing the trailer of a Best Picture nominee. In 2007, it was The Departed, and in 2008, it was There Will Be Blood. Last year, she openly campaigned for hosting duties.
Drew Barrymore
AKA: Mrs. Hollmann
Film credits: Donnie Darko, Batman Forever, The Wedding Singer, Everyone Says I Love You, Home Fries
Barrymore appeared last year at the Hollmann Awards, handing out the Best Original Song prize to Dewey Cox for "Let's Duet". The most beautiful woman in Hollywood has wished happy birthday to Hollmann himself, and he has the DVD to prove it. In addition to ensemble rom-com He's Just Not That Into You, Barrymore will be seen next year in HBO's Emmy-hopeful (please?) Grey Gardens, and in her directorial debut, Whip It!, starring Hollmann Award Nominee Ellen Page. She is Number One on Walter's Top Ten Celebrity Crushes.
Allison Janney
AKA: C.J. Cregg
Film credits: Juno, Hairspray, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Celebrity, The Hours
Janney appeared in both Juno and Hairspray last year, two movies which ended up getting a number of Hollmann Award Nominations. Though Janney has yet to be nominated for the Hollmann, she is Number Ten on Walter's Top Ten Celebrity Crushes.
Rue McClanahan
AKA: Blanche Devereaux
Film credits: Out to Sea, The Fighting Temptations, Hollywood After Dark, The Grass Eater, Starship Troopers
Like Arthur, McClanahan is a regular of the Hollmann Awards, having presented trailers for Children of Men in 2007 and I'm Not There in 2008, both Best Picture nominees in their respective years. Recently, she appeared on Broadway as Mme. Morrible in Wicked.
Geraldine McEwan
AKA: Miss Jane Marple
Film credits: THE MAGDALENE SISTERS, Vanity Fair, Love's Labour's Lost, Titus, Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
After three seasons of Marple, McEwan has more or less retired after an accident injured her hip. She is an acclaimed actress and director who refused to become a DAME, because she's just boss like that. She has yet to appear on the Hollmann Awards.
Helen Mirren
AKA: The Queen
Film credits: Gosford Park, The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu, The Queen, The Prince of Egypt, Caligula
Mirren has appeared twice on the Hollmann Awards. The first time was to accept the award for Best Actress in 2007, for her acclaimed portrayal of Elizabeth II in The Queen. The second was to present Best Actor in 2008, an award which went to Daniel Day-Lewis for There Will Be Blood. She is Number Nine on Walter's Top Ten Celebrity Crushes.
Alicia Silverstone
AKA: Batgirl
Film credits: Clueless, Love's Labour's Lost, Batman & Robin, Blast from the Past, Beauty Shop
Silverstone is greatly missed, and kind of reminds me of Cybill Sheperd in At Long Last Love. Only, you know, less annoying. She has appeared in a number of television programs recently, but none of done well. Remember when she was the It Girl of the 90s?
Maggie Smith
AKA: Goddess
Film credits: Death on the Nile, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, California Suite, A Room with a View, The Secret Garden
Smith is the Greatest Living Actress of All Time. Think about that.
Lily Tomlin
AKA: Linnea Reese
Film credits: A Prairie Home Companion, Short Cuts, Nashville, Tea with Mussolini, Shadows and Fog
Tomlin is a highly-accomplished comedienne, with four Emmys, two Tonys, and a Grammy, as well as the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor and an Oscar nomination for her debut role in Nashville. Though yet to be nominated at the Hollmann Awards, last year she introduced the trailer for Best Picture nominee Hairspray.
Betty White
AKA: Rose Nylund
Film credits: Lake Placid, Bringing Down the House
White is the third Golden Girl to have regularly appeared at the Hollmann Awards, presenting trailers for Best Picture nominees. In 2007, she had the honor of introducing the Winner for Best Original Score and Best Picture, Pan's Labyrinth. In 2008, she introduced Zodiac.

I don't care how you vote. Rank 'em, do a tie, do a ten-way tie, any way you want. Just know that whoever you choose, you're stuck with them for an entire awards presentation.


Anonymous said...

I pick Betty White.

Unknown said...

1 Allison
2 Rue/Betty/Bea (no preference)
3 Lily
4 Maggie
5 Alicia
6 Drew