Casting Coup Tuesday: The ABC Murders

It's Casting Coup Tuesday, where we dream-cast an imaginary adaptation of a beloved work. All month long, we're celebrating the Queen of Crime as she and her works appeared on screen, in anticipation of the November 10th release of Murder on the Orient Express. Now, if that movie's a success, they're gonna do a follow-up. May we suggest another Poirot?

Just yesterday, we talked about The Alphabet Murders, a slapstick comedy version of an Agatha Christie novel, with only the faintest resemblance to the original work. That work was The ABC Murders, which pits Poirot's wits against those of a serial killer, all the while receiving mocking letters from the murderer.

Published in 1935, it's a chilling puzzler, sure, but some of the best chapters describe the many conferences held by law enforcement officials who, at a loss for what else to do, gather together to dissect and repeat every detail and theory about the unknown maniac. There are a number of chapters, too, dedicated to witnesses and leads that go nowhere, contribute nothing to the investigation.

Frankly, such chapters are what make the novel genius. With the law, one feels the impotency of not knowing, the need for people to feel like they're doing something, anything. With the leads and witnesses, Christie explores England's class system and the resentments that come with it; public panic in the face of national crisis; casual xenophobia; and the desire for 15 minutes of fame, no matter the context. It's a little bit Zodiac, a little bit Drop Dead Gorgeous.

Which makes it perfect for a film.

The cast after the jump. All italicized descriptions come from the Cast of Characters on page 9 of the Black Dog and Leventhal hardcover edition.

Casting Coup Tuesdays: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

When a book becomes a worldwide bestseller, it's only natural that Hollywood comes sniffing around to see what all the fuss is about. When the same book becomes a hit foreign film, Hollywood knows it can have better results without subtitles. And when David Fincher takes an interest, greenlight that baby, man, greenlight that!

I've never read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It's 600-plus page count is a little daunting, and I only tackle tomes like that once in a while (it's been four years since Atlas Shrugged, though that's admittedly longer). I have seen the highly-acclaimed Swedish film starring Noomi Rapace and directed by Niels Arden Oplev. There's much to admire about the film, like the story -- though that comes from the novel. And the lead actor, Michael Nyqvist, is pretty good. But otherwise, this is a film that needs a remake by a director as talented and amazing as David Fincher. It's pretty murky, it jumps around a lot, and it's almost irritatingly on the nose sometimes -- the original title in Sweden is Men Who Hate Women. So, yeah, I'd welcome a remake by someone dependable, subtle and clear-headed.

But I started hearing rumors of Brad Pitt, Kristen Stewart, Ellen Page, Natalie Portman...and all I could think was, "No, no, no, no, no!" Mr. Fincher, if I may interject here: I have some ideas of my own. One of these has been heavily rumored as well, but I want to point out that I had the idea first (my cousin and my roommate can confirm). Let my other brainstorms be known:

INTERESTED PARTIES

DRAGAN ARMANSKIJ

Who is He: Lisbeth's boss. He assigns her to get info on Mikael for the Vangers. So it's really his fault that she gets involved in the muckedy-muck.

Originally played by:

Michalis Koutsogiannakis (All It Takes is a Miracle, The Girl Who Played with Fire)

My Choice:

Peter Friedman (I Shot Andy Warhol, Someone Like You...)

Dragan only has one scene in the movie, but he's in the full trilogy. With a regular, you want someone dependable, one who could believably play a middle-aged bossman/father figure. Oh, hey-hey-hey, if it ain't Mr. Friedman, one of the best character actors working today!

ERIKA BERGER

Who is She: Mikael's editor and sometimes lover.

Originally played by:

Lena Endre (Jerusalem, Day and Night)

My Choice: Indie Spirit Winner for Best Supporting Actress (Lovely & Amazing)

Emily Mortimer (Shutter Island, Harry Brown)

Very awesome, talented actress, one I've watched with great interest since Scream 3. She looks great in a pants-suit, and I don't mean that like, "ooh, sexy", I mean that she seems smart and looks like a pro. So, if you need to cast someone as an attractive newspaper editor, why not get the great Mortimer?

NILS BJURMAN

Who is He: I think he's the parole officer in charge of Lisbeth Salander, though I guess in Sweden they call them "guardians". Nils is the new guy, one is not as understanding of Lisbeth as his predecessor. He is a grasping, corrupt, evil man who takes power over women through abuse and rape.

Originally played by:

Peter Andersson (Zero Tolerance, Mouth to Mouth)

My Choice:

Harry Enfield ("Harry Enfield and Chums", "Skins")

Though a comedian, in Marple: The Moving Finger, he showed a skeezier side. I guess that's all the reasoning I have. It feels right.

PLAGUE

Who is He: A tech wiz who helps Lisbeth with her computer hackery. I'm pretty sure. He's also fat.

Originally played by:

Tomas Kohler (The Love Life of a Fat Thief, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest)

My Choice:

Jorge Garcia (The Good Humor Man, Deck the Halls)

He's large and a good actor. And, come on, he's going to need the work now that "Lost" is over. Could do worse than a Fincher-directed remake of a hit series.

HANS-ERIK WENNERSTROM

Who is He: A corrupt businessman Michael investigates. Nothing to do with the main story, but gives the investigation a "ticking clock" to work against after Wennerstrom manages to get Mikael convicted of something or other.

Originally played by:

Stefan Sauk (At Point Blank, Dear Alice)

My Choice:

Zeljko Ivanek (Dogville, Live Free or Die Hard)

Have you seen "Damages"? He's AWESOME on that show.


THE WOMAN
Who is She: The one who can provide the most important clue of all.

Originally played by:

 Ewa Froling (Sally and Freedom, Fanny and Alexander)

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Actress (The Contender) and Best Supporting Actress (Nixon, The Crucible), BAFTA Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (The Crucible), Golden Globe Nominee for Best Actress in a Drama (The Contender) and Best Supporting Actress (The Crucible), Indie Spirit/SAG Award Nominee for Best Actress (The Contender), SAG Award Nominee for Best Actress and Best Ensemble (Nixon)

Joan Allen (Pleasantville, Bonneville)
It's a small but important role, so it needs an actress par excellence. An actress with great gravitas. An actress who can deliver a solid performance without vanity. Joan Allen.

THE FAMILY

DIRCH FRODE

Who is He: Vanger attorney and Henrik's friend. He's the one who gets Michael involved in the investigation of the forty-year-old disappearance of then-teenager Harriet Vanger.

Originally played by:

Ingvar Hirdwall (Let's Play House, Daybreak)

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Chariots of Fire), BAFTA Award Winner for Best Supporting Actor (The Bofors Gun, Chariots of Fire), SAG Award Winner for Best Ensemble (The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King)

Ian Holm (Henry V, Lord of War)

And now we get to the all-star aspect. Older gentleman, a real trustworthy type.


CECILIA VANGER
Who is She: Daughter of old hermit Harald Vanger, niece to Henrik, cousin of the missing Harriet.
Cecilia was close with Harriet, and the two of them briefly looked after Mikael. She seems to be attracted to Mikael, but he does not respond.

Originally played by:

Marika Lagercrantz (All Things Fair, I Wonder Who's Kissing You Now)

My Choice:

Kim Cattrall (Mannequin, The Bonfire of the Vanities)
I really liked her in The Ghost Writer. She's another well-known yet non-distracting actress. Right age and right talent.


HARRIET VANGER
Who is She: The sixteen-year-old favorite niece of Henrik who disappeared mysteriously forty years ago.

Originally played by:

Julia Sporre

My Choice: Indie Spirit Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (That Evening Sun)

Mia Wasikowksa (Defiance, Amelia)
Yeah, she'll do.


HENRIK VANGER
Who is He: The patriarch of the Vanger clan, he unofficially reopens the investigation behind the disappearance of his favorite niece. Henrik is a kind, old man, and the only one of his brothers not completely in love with Nazis. Now retired, he was the CEO of the Vanger Corporation.

Originally played by:

Sven-Bertil Taube (Jerusalem, London Voodoo)

My Choice: Academy Award/Golden Globe/Indie Spirit/SAG Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (The Last Station), SAG Award Nominee for Best Ensemble (A Beautiful Mind)

Christopher Plummer (The Sound of Music, Dreamscape)
When I saw the movie, I immediately thought of Holm, my two leads, and Plummer. Plummer can play the controlled emotions. He can play the great grief in the private moments. He's an old pro, but he's in great shape.


MARTIN VANGER
Who is He: Current president of the Vanger Corporation. Harriet's brother. He and Mikael warm to each other, and he tries to get the other family members to cooperate.

Originally played by:

Peter Haber (Sommarmord, All It Takes is a Miracle)

My Choice: Golden Globe Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Far From Heaven), Indie Spirit Winner for Best Actor (The Big Easy) and Best Supporting Actor (Far From Heaven), SAG Award Winner for Best Ensemble (Traffic)

Dennis Quaid (Dreamscape, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra)
A guy who always rocks when he stretches, and this role would put him through the wringer. And hell, I would see anything he's in.


THE SLEUTHS

MIKAEL BLOMKVIST
Who is He: Journalist for, and publisher of, Millenium. He gets into trouble after investigating corrupt tycoon Hans-Erik Wennerstrom. Now he finds himself sleuthing alongside Lisbeth when Henrik asks him to find the truth behind a forty-year-old disappearance.

Originally played by:

Michael Nyqvist (Day and Night, London Voodoo)

My Choice: BAFTA Award Nominee for Best Actor (Casino Royale), Indie Spirit Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Infamous)

Daniel Craig (The Mother, The Invasion)
He's got what Mikael needs: smart, middle-aged, and sexy. Not ridiculously sexy, but you can understand why ladies would go for him. He's an action star and a dramatic actor, meaning you're going to get a great performance no matter what he's doing.


LISBETH SALANDER
Who is She: Bisexual computer hacker with a dark past. She helps Mikael find the truth behind Harriet's disappearance.

Originally played by:

Noomi Rapace (Bloodbrothers, Daisy Diamond)

My Choice:

Olivia Thirlby (Juno, Breaking Upwards)
Hear this. She's age-appropriate, but it wouldn't be creepy if she hooked up with Daniel Craig. She's beautiful, but you could totally see her doing the bad-ass thing without looking strange or acting mannered. And she's a phenomenal actress. She'd be my perfect Lisbeth Salander.

Road to MI6

Strange news on the 007 front!

First, it was announced that filming of Bond 23 is officially on hold. Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson, owners of the film rights and producers of the films since The Living Daylights and Moonraker (respectively), are awaiting the sale of debt-ridden US distributor MGM. It was crushing news for those of us who plan our year around the release of a new 007 adventure, but Daniel Craig and Judi Dench have said that they are ready to return to work in late 2010/early 2011. Fingers crossed.

THEN

Just as that news is being processed, the on-hold film gets a new director: Academy Award Winner SAM MENDES! This would be the first Oscar-winning director to helm a Bond movie (Mendes won in 2000 for American Beauty). This will also be the director's first action pic -- indeed, I would say it's his first straight genre piece. Although a gangster pic and a war film, respectively, Road to Perdition and Jarhead are hardly what you would call mainstream. At the same time, Mendes is a director who could fit with this new, serious-er Bond.

I'm torn, personally. Mendes has directed only five movies to date, none of them Bondian, and with a gradual degree of disappointment. American Beauty (****) is an American classic; Road to Perdition (***1/2), if not a masterpiece, is still a damn good piece of cinema. Jarhead (**1/2) is admirable, if plodding and forgettable. Revolutionary Road (*) is abysmal and condescending, his worst film to date. Away We Go (**) is smug, though far better than Revolutionary Road. *Sigh* Must I really wait to make a decision? Can't they just make it now?

Peter Morgan, Oscar-nominated writer of The Queen and Frost/Nixon, is still attached to write the script alongside old standbys Neal Purvis and Robert Wade. Daniel Craig, Judi Dench and composer David Arnold are all returning.

Also, Plans for June

I have decided to make June my own official Month of Bond. Why June? Because July is all about America, dammit, and Bond is not American.

But also, my love affair for James Bond began in the month of June, the summer between eighth grade and High School. Here's the story:

I was first introduced to James Bond in fifth grade, when Andrew Avitan had a birthday outing to see The World is Not Enough, followed by playing GoldenEye on the N64. GoldenEye was awesome, of course, and I still believe it is the greatest video game ever.

This guy is winning; he is obviously not me.

The World is Not Enough, however, I was not thrilled by. It was a different time, of course. I was a prude and a nerd, and the idea of SEX just bothered and scandalized me. I couldn't follow the plot very well, either, though I eventually learned that the why and the wherefore in a Bond film is the last thing on anyone's mind. Also, this is the one where Denise Richards famously played a nuclear physicist.

Acting!

Flash forward to eighth grade.

I was the eighth grade champion in the spelling bee, beating Casey Scharf, a classmate with whom I had a fierce rivalry. He didn't know it, and I don't exactly know why I chose him to compete with, but suffice to say that it was one of my greater achievements that year. (The GREATEST was hitting on the hot librarian on the morning announcements and getting away with it). Anyway, I won, and so we were supposed to have a final competition between me and the champions from the sixth and seventh grade. The winner of that would represent our school in the district competition. High-fives were exchanged with my parents.

Except that it never happened. At the last minute, they were unable to hold a final competition, and a name was drawn out of a hat on the morning announcements. The decision left to horrible chance (horrible, awful chance), I watched as my dreams of being the Grand Master of Spelling Things were dashed, and some girl in seventh grade went instead.

Well, my father was not having any of that. Siding with me on the whole "drawing a name out of a hat is stupid" thing, he called me in sick the day of the District Spelling Bee. Instead, we had an OUTING. Yes, a wonderful, air-conditioned outing to the local mall, where I could pick out one item to own forever and ever. So we went to the music store, right? And I looked through the movie soundtracks, and there it was -- The Best of Bond, featuring twenty-two tracks of music to spy to.

And this is what it looked like.

Now, keep in mind, I had yet to see any Bond film but The World is Not Enough, and I still had memories of the burning hatred I felt for it. Fortunately for me, my English teacher at the time was Mr. Kimmel, a die-hard Bond fan. He happened to have a copy of The Best of Bond himself, and he would play it every so often during writing exercises. I really didn't remember any songs per se, but I remembered not hating it, and I kind of looked up to him at the time, so what was good enough for him was good enough for me. I bought the CD.

And my life changed forever.

I like to think everyone remembers the first time they heard "boom boom, wha-WHAAAAA-wha". We all know what that is. The first time I really heard those notes was in my bedroom that afternoon, laying on my stomach by the CD player, flipping through the cover booklet. It was here that I first learned of the James Bond books. "Well," I resoned to myself, "mayhaps the books have something the movies failed to give me."

I got a copy of Doctor No from the library. It seemed to make the most sense to start with that one. I was still a novice, you see, and I figured that since it was the first Bond film, it must have been the first Bond book as well. I went to my grandparents' house in Boca Raton, sat out on the beach, and started reading.

And that's the edition I read. It's like you're there!

I finished reading it that evening. Without question, it was one of the most exhilirating novels I had ever read. Dr. Julius No was an amazing villain, and this James Bond was so manly, the epitome of what I always wanted to become but never felt I could measure up to. Here, at least, I could imagine Bond any way I wanted to -- he could even be me! Suave, sexy, with a "hump 'em and dump 'em" attitude, Bond was also a dark, melancholic figure that intrigued and haunted me. I was eager to return to his world of sex and danger.

So it is that I consider June to be the start of the true love, for it was not until the Summer months that I read Casino Royale, The Spy Who Loved Me, and Moonraker, back to back to back. Each girl -- Honeychile Rider, Vesper Lynd, Vivienne Michel, Gala Brand -- became a different girl of my acquaintance (even at a young age, I liked to cast willy-nilly). At the same time, I felt myself becoming more enraptured with the villains. Hugo Drax was an especial favorite of mine, though I would eventually come to pledge allegiance to Blofeld as well.

To make a long story short...

"Too late."

It took me only a year to finish the Ian Flemings, and I soon moved on to the other authors. I watched all the movies (except Octopussy and A View to a Kill), bought a number of the individual soundtracks, bid on action figures on eBay, had marathons with friends, the works. I am an official Bond obsessive now, and saw the last two at midnight showings. And yes, I am firmly on Team Craig.

A blonde Bond? It's like looking into a mirror!

This is all a long way of saying that in June, a number of Bond-related things will occur.

ITEM THE FIRST: My roommates and I will plan and host a James Bond party, in which guests will come in costume (at least, they better) and Bond movies will be on all TVs.

ITEM THE SECOND: Five weeks of Bond Casting Coups. Yeah, you heard me. I'll be recasting five James Bond books from the Ian Fleming years (hopefully, provided I have the time). It's a challenge, but someone's got to do it.

ITEM THE THIRD: Obviously, Top Ten Lists of Bond Girls and Bond Villains.

By the by, take a look at my first Bond Casting Coup from this past summer.

That's the long and short of it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to attend to a lady friend. She's just dead.

Casting Coup...Wednesdays?

Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

Apparently, I didn't get the sleep I needed Monday night, so as soon as I ate lunch after work yesterday, I fell asleep. When I woke up, I cleaned, went out, and didn't get back until my parents were already locked away in the only room with internet access.

Thus, Casting Coup Tuesday was not to be.

But I promised you I would cast the new James Bond book, so I'm going to cast the new James Bond book.

Written by Sebastien Faulks, Devil May Care takes place during the Cold War, the first Bond book since Kingsley Amis's Colonel Sun to do so. Well, OK, I guess the Cold War was still on in the 80s, but the Bond books there were more politically correct. Which, you know. Blech. Bond doesn't use condoms. Bond doesn't filter his cigarettes. Bond doesn't want to marry every broad who comes his way. Bond is a ruthless womanizer who smokes ten packs a day and is impervious to both STDs and bastard children.

That's the Bond we get in Devil May Care, in which 007's career is put on the line when he tangles with Dr. Julius Gorner, a villainous Slav who deals in pharmaceutical drugs--and heroin! From the tennis court to Turkey, Bond is always one step behind Gorner, until a thrilling climax that leads into a so-so Parisian finale. Along the way, he fights a mute but deadly henchman (of course) and romances a beautiful banker (naturally).

Can Walter choose a believable Bond girl? A credible Bond villain? Will the supporting players kick ass? Check it out...

MONEYPENNY
Who is She: M's personal secretary, she keeps up a flirtatious relationship with 007.

Previously played by:

Lois Maxwell (The Connery Years, The Moore Years, The Lazenby Flick)

Caroline Bliss (The Dalton Years)

Samantha Bond (The Brosnan Years)

Barbara Bouchet (the original Casino Royale)

Pamela Salem (Never Say Never Again)

My Choice: We need a brand-new Moneypenny, one who is sophisticated and attractive, but not as drop-dead gorgeous as the Bond Girls.

Claudie Blakley (Gosford Park, Pride & Prejudice)


BILL TANNER
Who is He: Chief of Staff to M, and James Bond's best friend in the Secret Service.

Previously played by:

James Villiers (For Your Eyes Only)

Michael Kitchen (GoldenEye, The World is Not Enough)

My Choice: Tanner is Bond's best friend. He needs to be intelligent and professional, yet warm and approachable. And around Bond's age.

Ben Miles (TV's Coupling, V for Vendetta)


FELIX LEITER
Who is He: Bond's ally, a retired CIA agent who now works for Pinkerton's Detective Agency.

Previously played by: Okay, you ready for this?

Jack Lord (Dr. No)

Cec Linder (Goldfinger)

Rik Van Nutter (Thunderball)

Norman Burton (Diamonds Are Forever)

David Hedison (Live and Let Die, Licence to Kill)

Bernie Casey (Never Say Never Again)

John Terry (The Living Daylights)

Michael Pate (TV's Casino Royale)

My Choice: I'm sticking to the latest Felix Leiter, seen in Casino Royale, who will reappear in Quantum of Solace.

Jeffrey Wright (Angels in America, Lady in the Water)


RENE MATHIS
Who is He: He's with the Deuxieme Bureau, the French Secret Service. An old friend of Bond's who is utterly wasted in this novel.

Previously played by:

Duncan Macrae (the original Casino Royale)

My Choice: Again, I'm sticking with the guy EON Productions already has in charge, seen in Casino Royale, only to reappear later this year in Quantum of Solace.

Academy Award Nominee Giancarlo Giannini (Seven Beauties, My House in Umbria)


M
Who is He: The Head of the British Secret Service, MI-6. Strict and orderly, but with a soft spot for Bond.

Previously played by:

Bernard Lee (The Connery Years, The Moore Years up to Moonraker, The Lazenby Flick)

Robert Brown (The Remaining Moore Years, The Dalton Years)

Academy Award-winning actress Judi Dench (The Brosnan Years, current)

Academy Award-winning director John Huston (the original Casino Royale)

Edward Fox (Never Say Never Again)

My Choice: Well, this M happens to be a man, so Judi Dench won't do at all. Time to step it up a notch.

Michael Gambon (Gosford Park, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow)


HADIM
Who is He: Works with the branch in Iraq. Supposedly a chauffeur, but he also carries messages and acts as bodyguard. A fast but able driver, Hadim is loyal to his friends and comrades.

My Choice:

Sayed Badreya (Iron Man,You Don't Mess with the Zohan)


J.D. SILVER
Who is He: A shady CIA agent stationed in Iraq, he has an agenda of his own.

My Choice:

Richard Schiff (TV's The West Wing, The Lost World: Jurassic Park)


MASSOUD
Who is He: A pilot on Gorner's payroll, his assignment is to crash a plane in Russia with Bond at the helm, making it look as though Britian was attacking the Soviet Union. This would spark WWIII, you see.

My Choice:

Faran Tahir (Iron Man, Charlie Wilson's War)


CHAGRIN
Who is He: Gorner's henchman. A psychotic who had part of his brain removed, Chagrin is self-conscious and insane. As a Communist soldier in Vietnam, he murdered priests and deafened children with chopsticks. Impervious to pain, mute as Oddjob, Chagrin has a habit of ripping people's tongues out with pliers. He's a sicko.

My Choice:

Francois Chau (Rescue Dawn, TV's Lost)


DR. JULIUS GORNER
Who is He: A suspiciously polite businessman who has a grudge against England. Having done his research, he punishes and tortures Bond according to methods the "honourable" British used on slaves, the Irish, etc. He is obsessed with destroying their country, planning to start WWIII and flooding London with heroin. He wears a glove on his hand so as not to show his monkey's hand: the thumb is un-opposable and makes a straight line with the fingers; it is also covered in hair.

My Choice:

Theatre director/actor Simon McBurney (Friends with Money, The Golden Compass)


SCARLETT PAPAVA/POPPY PAPAVA
Who is She: Scarlett is the Bond Girl, an investment banker who follows Bond on his mission so that he may rescue her twin sister, Poppy. She's quick-witted, intelligent, and a good shot. She's also sexy as hell, and Bond has to earn the love-making.

My Choice: Her mother was Diana Rigg, my favorite Bond Girl

Rachael Stirling (Tipping the Velvet, Marple: The Murder at the Vicarage)


JAMES BOND
Who is He: Secret Agent 007 of MI-6, with a licence to kill. Drinks, but not to excess. Weaknesses: Women.

Previously played by:

Barry Nelson (TV's Casino Royale)

Academy Award Winner Sean Connery (Dr. No, From Russia with Love, Goldfinger, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, Diamonds Are Forever, Never Say Never Again)

Academy Award Winner David Niven (the original Casino Royale)

Roger Moore (Live and Let Die, The Man with the Golden Gun, The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only, Octopussy, A View to a Kill)

Timothy Dalton (The Living Daylights, Licence to Kill)

Pierce Brosnan (GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World is Not Enough, Die Another Day)

My Choice: Oh, come on. I'll just say it: he is James Bond.

DANIEL CRAIG

Well? Do we have a Bond movie or what?