Best Supporting Actress, 2003

What a lineup, huh? We have Shohreh Aghdashloo giving a performance that made American critics and Hollywood sit up and take notice, Patricia Clarkson riding the momentum of 2002’s Far from Heaven and her other 2003 indie The Station Agent, Marcia Gay Harden returning in a Best Picture nominee after her shocking Oscar win in 2000, Holly Hunter back for the first time since her 1993 double-header, and Renee Zellweger on her third consecutive nomination after just missing out on a win the previous year (so we assume, anyway). Zellweger had the ol' "When are we giving it to her already?" going for her, and just like Tim Robbins, her win was considered "in the bag":

The performances, ranked from 5th to 1st:

Casting Coup Tuesdays: The Man Who Came to Dinner

DAY SEVEN OF HOLLMANN HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA

Today's Holiday Casting Coup is one that I've always wanted to do.

Years and years ago -- I was probably still in elementary school -- I fell in love with The Man Who Came to Dinner. It's the story of popular radio personality Sheridan Whiteside, who arrives in a small town for a dinner with one of its bigwigs; I think it's a publicity thing or something. Anyway, on his way out, he winds up breaking his leg when he slips on some ice, forcing him to remain with his hosts. Only then do they realize that Whiteside is a temperamental, tyrannical, childish man prone to lobbing insults at anyone and everyone in his path.

Written by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart, the original play was based on their experiences with their friend, radio personality, essayist, critic and founding member of the Algonquin Vicious Circle Alexander Woolcott. The legend tells us that Woolcott stayed at Hart's for a weekend and absolutely terrorized everyone, servants and family alike, even writing a note upon his leaving to assure Hart that it was "one of the most unpleasant times I have ever spent". Hart told Kaufman about the experience, saying, "Can you imagine if he broke his leg and had to stay?" Thus the story was born.

I was exposed to it, like many of you I imagine, through the magic of film. The 1942 film starred original Broadway star Monty Woolley as Whiteside, in one of those performances that audiences adore and critics appreciate, but divides the actual Hollywood people: Orson Welles (who later did a made-for-TV version) and Nathan Lane (star of the Broadway revival) thought Woolley's performance to be awful and misjudged, respectively. Actors. I disagree, but I can understand Lane's displeasure with the performance, thinking Woolley played it too mean. I get that. I love it, but I get it. Bette Davis, who played Whiteside's secretary marvelously, thought the direction was unimaginative, and was forever disappointed that first choice John Barrymore was too drunk to play the role.

Well whatever. Woolley is fantastic, and The Man Who Came to Dinner is a Christmas tradition in my house. My mother and I try to catch it whenever it's on, and TCM obliges annually. It's a true Christmas movie, taking place from the week before Christmas on through the 25th of December. Yes, friends, there's a Christmas Day finale, as well as a Christmas Eve radio broadcast featuring a boys' choir and several live penguins. The exchange of gifts plays a crucial role in the narrative, especially where it concerns Lorraine Sheldon and Aunt Harriet; if you don't know what I'm talking about, see the movie!

So, why recast something if I'm already a great fan of the original? Because (a) I would like to see a less mean-spirited Whiteside, and (b) that's what I do! Let me know what you think:

JOHN & SARAH

Who Are They: The butler and cook, respectively, of the Stanley Home. Long employed by the snobbish and tyrannical Mr. Stanley, they not only welcome the relief of Mr. Whiteside's company -- they positively dote on him.

My Choices:

Zeljko Ivanek (Hannibal, In Bruges) and Cleo King (Dogville, The Hangover)

I like them is all. Cleo King is funny, and boy it would be a relief to see Ivanek at least smile. Without irony, I mean.

AUNT HARRIET

Who is She: Mr. Stanley's sister, a batty lady with a secret past who adores Mr. Whiteside.

My Choice:

Ellen Greene (Little Shop of Horrors, Leon)

Greene can play crazy without going full Crawford. She also looks high-class, as Aunt Harriet should.

MISS PREEN

Who is She: Mr. Whiteside's nurse, a patient woman who finds it difficult to maintain her poise amongst her charge's verbal abuse.

My Choice:

Kristen Schaal (Toy Story 3, Going the Distance)

Funny without being distracting, though she can deliver when it's her time to shine, which works for Preen's eleventh-hour speech.

DR. BRADLEY

Who is He: Local physician who wants Mr. Whiteside to help him work on his memoirs of being a country doctor.

My Choice: Golden Globe Nominee for Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy (Foul Play)

Chevy Chase (Caddyshack, Christmas Vacation)

His recent turn on "Community" only reminds me that he's still got it, and works well as a member of an ensemble.

MR. & MRS. ERNEST STANLEY

Who Are They: Hosts for the dinner Mr. Whiteside came to. It is their home where he breaks his leg, and it is their home where he is forced to spend his convalescence. Meek Mrs. Stanley does her best to keep everything pleasant, but Mr. Stanley is a bit cantankerous, resenting Mr. Whiteside's manners and his intrusion into their lives.

My Choices: He's an Academy Award Winner/BAFTA Award/Golden Globe Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Adaptation), Indie Spirit Nominee for Best Male Lead (Lone Star) and SAG Award Winner for Best Ensemble (American Beauty).

She's an Academy Award/Golden Globe/Indie Spirit/SAG Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (Pieces of April) and SAG Award Nominee for Best Actress (The Station Agent) and Best Ensemble (The Green Mile, The Station Agent, Good Night and Good Luck)

Chris Cooper and Patricia Clarkson (Married Life)

I love them. We know she can be harried, he can be domineering, and they can both be funny while doing it.

BEVERLY CARLTON

Who is He: A British actor/writer/songwriter (based on Noel Coward). A good friend to Maggie and Whiteside, especially Maggie; he tries to stop Lorraine, an old enemy, from getting her hooks into Bert Jefferson.

My Choice: BAFTA Award Winner/Academy Award/Golden Globe/SAG Award/Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Actor (A Single Man), SAG Award Winner for Best Ensemble (Shakespeare in Love), Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Easy Virtue)

Colin Firth (Bridget Jones's Diary, Then She Found Me)

Funny. British. And a star, which actor characters should be. Do the math.


BANJO
Who is He: A friend of Whiteside's, crazy, ready with a joke, direct with women. Based on Harpo Marx, Banjo is a professional funnyman who also tries to stop Lorraine.

My Choice: Golden Globe/SAG Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Quiz Show), Indie Spirit Nominee for Best Actor (Box of Moonlight), Best Supporting Actor (Five Corners) and Best Director (Mac)

John Turturro (Do the Right Thing, Transformers)
Great actor who can do zany comedy quite well: look at O Brother, Where Art Thou, or even at his somewhat comic role in Quiz Show. He could do that Harpo leer, too!


BERT JEFFERSON
Who is He: Local reporter who Whiteside actually admires, since Bert's quick-witted and charming -- he's also an aspiring playwright. Bert takes a shine to Maggie, and she to him, sparking a romance that disturbs Whiteside. What will he do without Maggie's service? Sweet and funny, his good looks come straight from central casting.

My Choice:

John Krasinski (Smiley Face, Away We Go)
Boyish and handsome, straight from central casting. Also possesses fine comic timing and wit. Also, I think we can imagine two women fighting over him. Man, what an under-appreciated talent.


LORRAINE SHELDON
Who is She: A pretentious actress with designs on a British lord. Shrill and irritating, she looks down on all those around her, except for Whiteside. Maggie hates her, especially when she starts to get her hooks into Bert Jefferson. A ruthless lush with sluttish tendencies.

My Choice: Academy Award/Golden Globe/SAG Award Winner/BAFTA Award Nominee for Best Actress [in a Musical/Comedy] (Shakespeare in Love), Indie Spirit Nominee for Best Actress (Two Lovers), SAG Award Winner for Best Ensemble (Shakespeare in Love)

Gwyneth Paltrow (View from the Top, Proof)
Her recent stint on "Glee" reminded us just how hilarious she can be, and she could send up the perception of herself as a pretentious, holier-than-thou star. She seems like a good sport about those things. Lorraine is a high-class looker, too, and Paltrow, like her mother, just oozes with class.


MAGGIE CUTLER
Who is She: Whiteside's secretary, the only person who can successfully challenge him. He positively depends on Maggie, the woman whose whole life revolves around keeping his schedule in order and reading his thoughts. Maggie is tired, though, and when she finally sees happiness int he form of Bert Jefferson, she leaps for it.

My Choice: Golden Globe Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (Irreconcilable Differences)

Drew Barrymore (TV's Grey Gardens, Going the Distance)
She's already ravishing in 1940s attire. An accomplished comedienne who has played these business-y types before (Never Been Kissed, Fever Pitch), Drew may not seem like the most obvious choice for a Bette Davis sub-in, but she's definitely the best for this role. Warm, funny, smart; she's got all the tricks she needs to play Maggie Cutler.


SHERIDAN WHITESIDE
Who is He: The man who came to dinner, a celebrated writer/essayist with friends on every continent, a friend of the president as well as convicted felons. He encourages joy and freedom in the servants and children, but is also a tyrannical man. He is not a mean person, but viciousness just comes naturally to him. Utterly dependent on Maggie, he tries to prevent her from leaving by inviting Lorraine over to seduce Bert. The man is brilliant, caustic, and funny...and one of my personal heroes. Based on Alexander Woolcott.

My Choice: Academy Award/SAG Award Nominee/BAFTA Award/Golden Globe/Indie Spirit Winner for Best Actor [in a Musical/Comedy] (Lost in Translation), Indie Spirit Winner for Best Supporting Actor (Rushmore)

Bill Murray (The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Get Low)
I feel like Murray's career has been a series of lovable cynics, men who aren't mean-spirited but naturally vicious. It's a difficult balance, but Murray's built his whole career out of it. He's funny and fantastic, and always generous to his co-stars. I don't know how much truth is in those reports of conflict on the Charlie's Angels set, but Murray and Barrymore are pros. He'd own this role, and he looks more like Woolcott than Monty Woolley.

Any ideas of your own? Got your own dream Whiteside in your head? Did I miss the mark with Lorraine (of course not!)? Are you a fan of The Man Who Came to Dinner? Let me know!

Stone & Movie an Easy A

I don't know why it's so difficult for me to express my love of certain films. I can write up a full review for The Town, yet for weeks I've been silent on my reaction to Easy A and The Social Network. That's unfair, to both the films and you, my dear friends, who no doubt choose your theater-going experiences based on what I think (...right?).

Rest assured, there are two reasons: (1) I want to be able to do justice to these films, and (2) I'm trying to keep both hyperbole and the words "awesome" and "amazing" to a minimum. That's difficult because both words aptly describe these films, albeit in different ways.

At least I know exactly how they apply to Easy A: the performances. Specifically, Emma Stone's lead performance as false slut Olive Penderghast. Stone makes Olive into my dream girl: an intelligent, quick-witted redhead who can reference the Kinsey scale and German cinema with equal ease. Sure, writer Bert V. Royal and director Will Gluck probably did have a great effect on the crafting of the character, but Stone's execution is confident and flawless. It's thanks to Stone that we believe that such a whip-smart knockout could conceivably be another background figure in the high school hallways, so in tune with her body that she subtly marks the difference between the casual student of the beginning and the wanton "harlot" of the middle with her walk and posture. Her line delivery is killer, in scenes both dramatic (the confessional) and comedic ("You gotta be shittin' me, woman"). It's one of the most consistently drawn, confidently performed high school heroines since Alicia Silverstone's Cher Horowitz, even topping Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls. After Superbad and Zombieland, it is more clear than ever: Emma Stone has arrived.

But I said performances. Plural. So I must talk about Patricia Clarkson, Stanley Tucci and Bryce Clyde Jenkins as Olive's parents and adopted brother, respectively. There is an easy chemistry in all their scenes, and you get the sense that this is a family, that they have known each other their whole lives. Certainly Olive's humor and brilliance obviously stems from her warm, open, hilarious parents: when a boy arrives asking, "Is there an Olive here?", Clarkson replies, "There's a whole jar of them in the fridge." If there was anything that I wish we had more of, it's these scenes. Movie night, heart-to-hearts on cars, parents' past relationships stories, all are realistically, humorously portrayed, without any "wink-wink".

The school ensemble is solid, too, but here is where one problem lies: the script doesn't know what to do with all of them. A subplot with Lisa Kudrow as a guidance counselor is fascinatingly acted, but seems to come from nowhere. Alyson Michalka as the best friend is given short shrift; am I really to believe that her oldest friend would turn on her so quickly? Michalka is great, but I'm not always convinced by the turns the character makes. I wish we had gotten to know more about Penn Badgley and Cam Gigandet's characters,  because both young men are rather charming in their brief appearances.  Amanda Bynes and Thomas Haden Church are great fun, and Dan Byrd -- as the gay kid who first asks Olive to help his rep -- is pretty great, funny and touching.

The script does have its problems (unless it's a product of editing), but overall it's an extremely solid piece of work. I have to commend a high school movie that neither glamorizes nor demonizes sex. Gluck keeps everything grounded, but he never loses sight of the COMEDY. It made me laugh, it gave a message without being preachy, and it didn't overstay its welcome. Easy A lives up to the title.

Expect a write-up of The Social Network later.

All This Meat, And No Public Enemies!

A quick catch-up, since I am woefully behind:


First, I saw Cheri about a week ago. While it was great fun for the most part, it was a little annoying that it took about fifteen minutes to go anywhere. After a fascinating title sequence chronicling the history of famous courtesans, the film searched in vain for the proper tone before finally settling on Light Drama. Alexandre Desplat's score was overwhelming, though typically beautiful. Michelle Pfeiffer was OK, Kathy Bates quite good, too.

Rupert Friend, however, as the titular Cheri, is best in show, nailing the bored effete manners of Colette's most famous male protagonist. Christopher Hampton's adaptation of the short work was admirable, and the delivery of important details from the literary sequel was impeccably done. Director Stephen Frears also narrates in a Stephen Fry-esque manner, and it works. Of course, costumes and production design are to die for. I give it a thumbs-up. You could do much worse.


Just as frothy, but at least consistently so, was the likable Confessions of a Shopaholic. Isla Fisher plays the lead role broadly but adorably, and who can resist the charms of a zany redhead? It's a perfect formula. Hugh Dancy is the love interest, and the two have an undeniable chemistry together. Joan Cusack and John Goodman are distracting as the parents, a shame since I adore both. Kristin Scott Thomas continues to kick ass and take names, this time with a French accent, as a kinder, European version of Streep's Prada-wearing Devil.

But I don't understand certain conflicts. Why should I root against the debt collector? He's just doing his job, and though Fisher is beautiful, she should pay what she owes. Her superior manner at the film's climax is unwarranted and annoying. The villainess of the piece is odd, too. There is no reason why she should care to sabotage Fisher's career to the extent that she does. Like, no reason is ever given. I don't understand it at all.

The use of Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" is clever, and as this film is about a clotheshorse, the costumes are FAB FAB FABBITY FAB. Chalk this up as another film that makes me want to move to New York.


Moon. Wow. Moon. A one-man show of sorts starring Sam Rockwell as the lone operator of a harvesting plant located on the Moon, with just two weeks to go before the end of his three-year contract. The difficult thing is, it's impossible to talk abotu this movie without some serious spoilers. So, at the risk of sounding superficial: WOW production design, great score, please give Rockwell an award of some sort (Hollmann Awards, possibly?), Duncan Jones, you are a director not to be trifled with.


Another film that's hard to describe is The Hurt Locker. I know it works. It had me on the edge of my seat. There are some great performances, a great score (shades of Morricone), and as my only previous exposure to Kathryn Bigelow was Point Break, I was impressed with the directing. There's a lot going for it. Jeremy Renner is certainly engaging to watch, and I am so proud of myself for knowing Brian Geraghty (my favorite performance in the movie) was headed for great things. I wish I could do backflips and declare how EFFING AMAZING this movie is, but with The Hurt Locker, there's just a serene knowledge. Hyperbole can't emphasize how great this movie is. It just is. You can disagree if you want, but you'd be sorely mistaken.


As for Whatever Works...it does. I have been reading a lot of negative reviews for this movie, and I don't get them. This movie is funny. Laugh-out-loud funny. True, I am a rabid Woody Allen fan who counts The Curse of the Jade Scorpion among my favorites, but Whatever Works is a smart, sexy comedy that had the entire theater in stitches. I saw it with friends who find Woody's humor a little much, and even they were having a ball.

In true Allen fashion, it follows the love lives of friends and acquaintances over a period of two years, all centering around the May-December relationship between genius nihilist Boris Yelnikoff (Larry David) and Southern runaway Melodie St. Ann Celestine (Evan Rachel Wood). Having not seen Thirteen, I count this as Wood's best performance. She is so on fire, so alive, so sexy! The jailbait outfits they put her in certainly help, of course, but I've never seen her so unmannered, so ironically real! Larry David gives a surprisingly human performance, despite having to deliver a number of verbose monologues expounding on the hopeless evils of the human race. But the interaction between the two of them is just delightful!

Patricia Clarkson is sexy and funny as Wood's mother, a religious matriarch turned Village artiste. Of course, we are used to greatness from Patty C, but she's always a delight to watch. And again, the costumes she's in. Awesome.

I'm Back!

Sorry about my not discussing James Bond. There was an issue with my computer, causing me to hand it over to repairmen. But it is safe and secure now, and running just as brilliantly as ever!

Good thing, too, since I now have to (1) make James Bond casting coups, (2) do Bond Top Tens, (3) review a few movies I've seen, (4) I don't know, I'm sure I'll find a reason to throw Patricia Clarkson into the conversation.

So get ready for a Casting Coup of Goldfinger and a look at Drag Me to Hell. I'll get them up as soon as I can.

Trailing on Trailers

My God, I know this is coming so late in the game, but I can't believe I haven't talked about this yet. So, you may have already seen it, but:



This looks pretty hilarious, although a lot of Woody Allen trailers tend to give away most of the plot points. I remember the Melinda and Melinda trailer giving away one of the more hilarious confrontation scenes between Will Ferrell and Amanda Peet. I mean, it wasn't the end-all be-all of comedy, but still, I would have liked to have been surprised. Anyway, that's how I feel about the religious nuts on the doorstep line.

Still, Patty Clarkson looks H-O-T-T HOTT!

Happy Mother's Day

Saturday Night Live apparently only caters to me now, seeing as how these are both the two MILFs I would most like to...well, you know.

Casting Coup: Clue

With the success of Transformers and the anticipation for G.I. Joe rising (...right?), Hasbro apparently thought, "Hey, if it works for toys, why not with board games???" To that end, Hasbro has partnered with a number of high-up film people to produce cinematic version of Monopoly, Candy Land (which I actually think sounds awesome), Ouija (...) and -- get this -- Clue.

"But wait!" you're probably saying (and even if you're not, I've already typed it out). "Wasn't Clue already a movie? A fantastically awesome movie starring Madeline Khan's sexy, sexy self as Mrs. White? Did I dream that?" And you would be right; Clue was a comedy in 1984 with all-star cast and three alternate endings. It is an awesome movie.

Here's where Hasbro got clever. Instead of giving us a remake of that movie, they want Gore Verbinski and the geniuses at Universal (yay!!!) to make an original dramatic murder-mystery with twists and turns and DRAMA. An interesting step to take, I think, as even the play-along video and book series took none of it seriously. As of now, it is still in the development stages, so I thought I would propose an approach that may seem complicated, but is actually quite...well, okay, it's complicated.

Over the years, a number of different Clues have surfaced. There's Original, Master Detective, Clue FX, Clue Mysteries, and variations on these. All these different versions mean that several characters, not just the six we all know and love, have been added to Clue Canon. Alongside these new characters are new storylines, new motives, and a new corpse. Pretty cool, eh?

That's not all. If we include dead bodies and a butler character that narrates Clue FX, we have thirteen characters in all. Three of these characters have been used as "non-suspects"; that is, they are playable characters who are not considered to be among those who might have done it. Two separate plotlines include the murders of both Mr. Boddy and his lawyer, Mr. Meadow-Brook. Two characters at separate times have had the surname of Grey, and I use both -- quite cleverly, if I say so myself. And, to top it all off, I've added a character of my own creation, one who premiered when I wrote stage adaptation of Clue back in middle school.

Most of the character info is, indeed, canon.

THE VICTIMS

DR. DAVID BLACK/MR. JOHN BODDY
Who is He: A retired general practicioner, Dr. Black is known and reviled by many. Owner of Tudor Mansion. He holds a masked ball for his birthday, attended by a number of guests. It is here that he happens to mention a possible changing of his will. At first nicknamed "Mr. Boddy" when his headless corpse is found on the front lawn, he is later identified by a mole on his wrist. The head is never found, and it apparent that he was not killed on his lawn, leaving it up to the police to discover who killed him, where, and with what.

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Actor (Lawrence of Arabia, The Lion in Winter, Becket, Goodbye, Mr. Chips, The Ruling Class, The Stunt Man, My Favorite Year, Venus), BAFTA Award Winner for Best British Actor (Lawrence of Arabia), Golden Globe Winner for Best Actor in a Drama (The Lion in Winter, Becket), Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy (Goodbye, Mr. Chips) and Most Promising Newcomer – Male, SAG Award Nominee for Best Actor (Venus), Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Ratatouille)

Peter O'Toole (Man of La Mancha, Stardust)
I like the idea of Black/Boddy as an elderly man, as it enables all sorts of interesting subplots involving heirs, spouses, and relations. And I love Peter O'Toole, so I would leap at the chance of working with him.


MILES MEADOW-BROOK
Who is He: Dr. Black's lawyer. It is he who holds the secret of how Dr. Black left his fortune. Chartreuse and Gray are on their way to question him when he, too, is found dead in his office. Are the murders connected?

My Choice: Academy Award Winner for Best Supporting Actor (Million Dollar Baby), Golden Globe Winner for Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy (Driving Miss Daisy), SAG Award Winner for Best Supporting Actor (Million Dollar Baby)

Morgan Freeman (Bruce Almighty, Glory)
Um, again, this is partly for the sake of having a Big Star play a corpse. It's fun, believe me. Freeman also has the sort of breeding that I would associate with a lawyer catering to the hoity-toity. I mean, he sounds like it, at least.

THE POLICE

INSPECTOR WILLIAM HENRY YORICK CHARTREUSE
Who is He: An original creation of mine, first created for my unproduced stage adaptation of Clue before resurfacing on the middle school morning announcements in his own mystery program. Chartreuse possesses a deadpan sense of humor. A sucker for a pretty face, Chartreuse finds himself falling for Mrs. Henrietta Peacock.

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Fargo), Golden Globe Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Seabiscuit), SAG Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Fargo) and Best Ensemble (Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Seabiscuit, Bobby)

William H. Macy (The Deal, Inland Empire)
Macy is more or less who I had always written the part of Chartreuse for. I just didn't know it at the time. Macy would have the opportunity to play the leading man this time around, not only solving the mystery, but romancing a lady as well! Since he's one of my favorite actors ever, I'd say he deserves it.


SERGEANT EARL GRAY
Who is He: Chartreuse's partner int he investigation. Unbeknownst to Chartreuse, Gray actually dropped in on the Masquerade the night of the murder. Unbeknownst to Gray, he is actually the illegitimate son of Mrs. White and Dr. Black, and was then adopted by Black's old friend, Lord Gray.

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Places in the Heart, In the Line of Fire), BAFTA Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (In the Line of Fire), Golden Globe Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (In the Line of Fire), SAG Award Nominee for Best Ensemble (Being John Malkovich), Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Burn After Reading)

John Malkovich (Colour Me Kubrick, Dangerous Liaisons)
There is a creepiness to Malkovich that all who look upon him immediately recognize. It is this creepiness that would benefit the character of Sgt. Gray, as it enables him to be a more believable suspect. Also, I first thought of him for Dr. Black before I went with these plot threads and chose O'Toole, so having him play Black's son was the next logical step.

INTERESTED PARTIES

ASHE
Who is He: The butler of Tudor Manor, he happened to have the evening off the night of the murder. He fills Chartreuse in on much of the family gossip.

My Choice: SAG Award Nominee for Best Ensemble (Nixon)

David Hyde Pierce (Down with Love, TV's Frasier)
It was between Pierce and Daniel Davis (TV's The Nanny), and while I've seen Davis as the butler, I've yet to see Pierce in that role. He has the voice for it though, and he could do the mannerisms. Maybe give him some spectacles, eh? That'd look neat.


PRINCE PHILIPPE AZURE
Who is He: Despite the title, there is little evidence to support his claim to royal lineage. However, it does get him in good with the right crowd. Azure is an art dealer who is not an altogether scrupulous businessman. Having been out of town on business on the night of the murder, he is not a suspect -- but he is connected to a number of them, including business partner Brunette and old rival Mustard.

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (In America, Blood Diamond), Golden Globe Nominee for Best Actor in a Drama (Amistad), SAG Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (Blood Diamond) and Best Ensemble (Gladiator, In America)

Djimon Hounsou (The Island, Eragon)
Azure is, most famously, the first black character in Clue canon. And so, the job is to get an actor who is both black, regal enough to pull off the prince thing, suave enough to be an art dealer, handsome enough to rival Mustard. Hounsou has perfect bone structure, and he's a marvelous actor to boot, which is probably important when casting these things.


LORD ALFRED GRAY
Who is He: A retired cartographer, Lord Gray now designs water gardens for the rich. A close friend of Dr. Black's, he adopted the illegitimate offspring of the doctor and Mrs. White. Lord Gray alone knows of the history of mental instability in the Black family, making him eager to cover up any connection between his son and the victim, fearing that it was Earl who bumped Black off. He was with Chartreuse on the night of the murder.

My Choice: SAG Award Nominee for Best Ensemble (Gosford Park)

Michael Gambon (The Omen, The Good Shepherd)
Gambon is the very picture of British sophistication to me -- Gosford Park, The Good Shepherd, Sleepy Hollow. The part of Lord Gray would have great pathos involved. Imagine being a parent, thinking your offspring may be an unhinged killer. He'd be quite fantastic in the role, I think.


LADY SU SIAN LAVENDER
Who is She: An herbalist who is a key member of the grapevine. Lady Lavender treats many, including Dr. Black, Mrs. Meadow-Brook, Miss Scarlet, and Mrs. Peacock. It is rumored that she may have murdered her husband, but in this case, she is completely innocent, having given a lecture at the university. She and Professor Plum are professional colleagues.

My Choice: BAFTA Award Nominee for Best Actress (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)

Michelle Yeoh (Tomorrow Never Dies, Memoirs of a Geisha)
Yeoh is a marvelous actress. She can bring a bit of the sexy, but more so, she has the sophistication of wealth that Lady Lavender would possess.

THE SUSPECTS

MONSIEUR ALPHONSE BRUNETTE
Who is He: An art dealer in league with Prince Azure. Brunette is under investigation after Dr. Black blows the whistle on a number of frauds and forgeries Brunette had been dealing. Incredibly, Black still invites Brunette to his Masquerade, giving Brunette the opportunity to silence the whistle-blower once and for all.

My Choice: Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Actor (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly)

Mathieu Amalric (A Christmas Tale, Quantum of Solace)
Marvelous French actor playing a French fraud. And he looks good in brown. His Dominic Greene was the perfect model for this character. I fancy he'd use a blunt instrument.


REVEREND THALLO GREEN
Who is He: Rev. Green does not run the local church; rather, he is a traveling evangelist who holds revival meetings on Dr. Black's lawn. When Black catches him stealing from the church funds, his reputation is at risk. Fortunately, there is the Masquerade to attend.

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Actor (The Visitor), SAG Award Nominee for Best Actor (The Visitor)

Richard Jenkins (Intolerable Cruelty, I Heart Huckabees)
Jenkins is the priestly type, the kind whose face you'd trust. Rev. Green must appear trustworthy in order to fleece the flock. Jenkins can also play madcap and cornered, something Rev. Green must feel if he is to have a motive.


JANE MEADOW-BROOK
Who is She: The widow of Miles Meadow-Brook, and the chief gossip of the village. She and Miles were not known for their harmonious marital bliss -- quite the opposite! Mrs. Meadow-Brook is lovely, of course, and this is something that did not go unnoticed by Dr. Black. Could Miles have killed Dr. Black out of jealousy, only to be murdered by his unhappy wife?

My Choice: Academy Award Winner for Best Actress (Blue Sky) and Best Supporting Actress (Tootsie), BAFTA Award Nominee for Best Actress (Tootsie), Golden Globe Winner for Best Actress in a Drama (Blue Sky), Best Supporting Actress (Tootsie) and Best Female Acting Debut (King Kong), SAG Award Nominee for Best Actress (Blue Sky)

Jessica Lange (Grey Gardens, Big Fish)
Still beautiful at the age of sixty, I can still see her playing the vamp. And she's old enough to be the biddy, as Mrs. Meadow-Brook is wont to be. And she looks good in blue and shades thereof, which Mrs. Meadow-Brook is traditionally adorned in.


COLONEL ALGERNON MUSTARD
Who is He: A military man, intensely masculine and hot-tempered. Colonel Mustard is an accomplished author, and has been working on one covering his exploits until his publisher, Dr. Black, pulls out at the last minute. Mustard is an expert shot and carries a torch for Miss Scarlet, though Miss Peach also offers him her attentions.

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Actor (The English Patient) and Best Supporting Actor (Schindler’s List), BAFTA Award Winner for Best Supporting Actor (Schindler’s List), Golden Globe Nominee for Best Actor (The English Patient) and Best Supporting Actor (Schindler’s List, The Duchess), SAG Award Nominee for Best Actor (The English Patient) and Best Ensemble (The English Patient), Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (The Duchess)

Ralph Fiennes (In Bruges, The Reader)
Dashing, masculine, British, and can do an American accent if need be. A romance between him and either Scarlet or Peach would be welcome. He has been doing stick-in-the-mud types lately (In Bruges excepted), so a colonel would be no problem, I imagine.


RUSTY NAYLOR
Who is He: An old, bitter gardener, Rusty is preparing for retirement. Rumor has it, however, that Black has changed his will, and the ancient Rusty cannot bear the idea of being broke at his advanced age. His landscaping tends not to agree with the designs of Lord Gray, and so the two have a bit of a rivalry.

My Choice: Academy Award Winner for Best Actor (Tender Mercies), BAFTA Award Winner for Best Supporting Actor (Apocalypse Now), Golden Globe Winner for Best Actor (Tender Mercies) and Best Supporting Actor (Apocalypse Now), SAG Award Winner for Best Supporting Actor (A Civil Action)

Robert Duvall (Thank You for Smoking, Network)
Lookit those hands. Those hands are rough, a gardener's hands. He's also old as hell (and heaven!), so the bitterness of Rusty would come through. Plus, how much would you love to see Robert Duvall in something like this?


MISS GEORGIA PEACH
Who is She: Your typical Southern Belle, this schoolteacher is sweet as molasses and as beautiful as a magnolia blossom. As Dr. Black's niece, she's more than set up for life when he dies -- unless he's changed his will. Miss Peach is an eligible bachelorette with designs on Colonel Mustard, though Professor Plum seems to be the only one who appreciates her company.

My Choice:

Kristin Chenoweth (Bewitched, RV)
She has a Southern accent and...well, come on, do I really need to elucidate matters for ya? She's Kristin Freeking Chenoweth.


MRS. HENRIETTA PEACOCK
Who is She: Mrs. Peacock is the grande dame of Clue, a well-mannered lady of great wealth. That wealth, by the way, comes from four husbands, all of whom died mysteriously. Could Dr. Black have something concrete on the local dowager? Even he did, Chartreuse may not be looking hard enough, and Mrs. Peacock does seem to be gearing up for husband Number Five...

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (Pieces of April), Golden Globe Nominee for Bets Supporting Actress (Pieces of April), SAG Award Nominee for Best Actress (The Station Agent), Best Supporting Actress (Pieces of April) and Best Ensemble (The Green Mile, The Station Agent, Good Night, and Good Luck.)

Patricia Clarkson (Miracle, the upcoming Whatever Works)
No surprise here, I'm sure. Patricia Clarkson, as you should know, is one of those actresses I can't get enough of. A beautiful older woman who has played the priss before, I feel as though Patty C is the only one who could pull off Mrs. Peacock admirably. And she is adorable in blue. She should wear that.


PROFESSOR EDGAR PLUM
Who is He: The smartest guy in the room, Prof. Plum's intelligence is masked by his social awkwardness. An expert on poisons and herbs, Plum teaches at the nearby University and frequently discusses herbology with Lady Lavender. Much of Plum's past is unclear, though it seems as though Dr. Black knew a thing or two. Plum pines for Miss Peach, but she seems not to notice him.

My Choice: Golden Globe Nominee for Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy (Stranger Than Fiction) and Best Supporting Actor (The Producers), Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Actor (Stranger Than Fiction)

Will Ferrell (Step Brothers, Night at the Roxbury)
He can do serious. I know Stranger Than Fiction was rather light, but it was unusual for Ferrell to play a role that subdued, and he nailed it. I imagine him with a mustache and glasses would be awesome. Because it would be. He could be the comic relief, and seeing him awkwardly flirt with Miss Peach would be AWWWWW.


MADAME RHODA ROSE
Who is She: Dr. Black's former secretary, this Eastern European mystic crashes the Masquerade with the revelation of a vision -- Dr. Black, DEAD! The guests laugh it off, but Madame Rose is soon proved right, though Chartreuse suspects that she may have had a hand in his demise. His suspicions become stronger when it is revealed that Rose and Black shared a father...

My Choice: BAFTA Award Winner for Most Promising Newcomer (The Lacemaker)

Isabelle Huppert (8 Women, I Heart Huckabees)
Beautiful. Mysterious. French. Huppert's otherworldliness lends credence to the mystic's mystique. She always delivers, too, no matter what the genre.


MISS VIVIENNE SCARLET
Who is She: A starlet on the rise, Miss Scarlet arrives in town under mysterious cirucmstances. Though forty years his junior, she seems to be intimately acquainted with Dr. Black. She appears to have designs on all the men in town, leaving Miss Peach bitter. She may be French, but her father married an American widow before his death, making her stepmother none other than Mrs. Peacock. This means Chartreuse must tread lightly with her, even as she constantly lies and covers up her past.

My Choice: Academy Award Winner for Best Actress (La Vie en Rose), BAFTA Award Winner for Best Actress (La Vie en Rose), Golden Globe Winner for Best Actress in a Musical/Comedy (La Vie en Rose), SAG Award Nominee for Best Actress (La Vie en Rose), Hollmann Award Winner for Best Actress (La Vie en Rose)

Marion Cotillard (A Very Long Engagement, the upcoming Public Enemies)
Oh holy crap she is so beautiful.


MRS. BLANCHE WHITE
Who is She: Dr. Black's faithful housekeeper. Having attended to his needs for fifty years, Mrs. White also happens to be the mother of Dr. Black's only son, the one adopted by Lord Gray. Mrs. White has grown tired of her job, and begins to realize that she will only be free when Dr. Black dies. When it is hinted that he is drawing up a new will in which she will not benefit, Mrs. White appears to panic. Luckily, she is the only servant at Tudor Manor when the Masquerade is held.

My Choice: Academy Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (Enchanted April), BAFTA Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (Equus) and Most Promising Newcomer (The Entertainer), Golden Globe Winner for Best Supporting Actress (Enchanted April)

Joan Plowright (Last Action Hero, Curious George)
Plowright has such sad eyes, I think, and Mrs. White is a tired, sad woman. She could bring class to any role, and I don't think I've seen her in a challenging mainstream role in ages. It's time.

Random, Perhaps, But....

Whenever I listen to Philip Glass's Einstein on the Beach, I like to imagine that it's Patricia Clarkson talking about the prematurely air-conditioned supermarket.

"I was in a prematurely air-conditioned super market and there were all these aisles, and there were all these bathing caps that you could buy which had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them: they were red and yellow and blue; I wasn't tempted to buy one, but I was reminded of the fact that I had been avoiding the beach."

Does anyone else ever do this? I know we all listen to Philip Glass religiously, so it's a fair question, I feel.

How Sexy

Courtesy of Awards Daily, a still from Woody Allen's upcoming Whatever Works.



This is the hottest thing I've seen this year. Damn. Just when I think I couldn't get more excited...

Across the Pond, and Holy Crap

It seems strange to think that Whatever Works is a stand-out for Woody Allen due to its use of New York as the setting (remember Manhattan?). Hell, I was sure he would stay in New York for at least another one. This is, alas, not to be, and the Woodster is returning to London for his latest, tentatively titled, "Untitled Woody Allen London Project". Catchy.

But wait wait wait. What is this? One of the kick-assiest casts ever has been lined up? Do tell!

Casting couch, indeed

Remember Hot Blonde ScarJo? Well, this time around, Woody's gotten Incredibly Beautiful and Super Talented Blonde, Academy Award Nominee Naomi Watts. I haven't been this happy about an Allen casting since Patty Clarkson's back-to-back awesomeness. I know, I know -- Whatever Works isn't out yet, but I have faith! Anyway, Naomi Watts is in a Woody Allen movie and holy shit that rocks.

Lordy, I'm gettin' the vapors!

Academy Award Nominee Josh Brolin returns for another Woody go-round! Yes, he previously had a small role in Melinda and Melinda, an experiment that I remember not being fond of. Between you, me, and the fly on the wall, I find it bizarre that out of everyone in that movie, it's Brolin who Allen gets back. I mean, we're talking about a cast that included Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Arija Bareikis. But hey, I'm a Brolin fan, so this is pretty cool.

Really?

Freida Pinto. Her first movie won Best Picture, and her second movie is by Woody Allen. Does he just watch the Oscars in search of hot young babes to cast? Penelope Cruz, Freida Pinto, Patricia Clarkson...

Please tell me he's the neurotic...

Antonio Banderas?!? Does this mean he might have a career again? Outside of Shrek? I certainly hope so. This is certainly turning out to be Woody's sexiest cast since...well, since Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which featured Latin lover Javier Bardem. Huh. Is this going to be a continuing trend?

Just as confused as I am.

Oscar Winner Sir Anthony Hopkins. The mind boggles.

For your consideration

Ok, I've read nothing that would even suggest that Patricia Clarkson is in this one, too. But I would absolutely LOVE it if she was. Please, God, if she finally gets an Oscar, let it be for Woody Allen!

Hollmann Awards

For the past two years over on my livejournal, I've been hosting the Hollmann Awards, a creatively-named testament to my superior film knowledge. Nominees are announced the day before the Oscar nominees are, and the awards are also given the day before their ceremony.

The Hollmann Awards started in 2006, and I greatly regret not doing them in 2005. However, here's a quick run-down of the history of the Hollmann Awards.'

2006
Hosted by Philip Baker Hall, nominations announced by Gary Coleman, guest appearances by Bea Arthur, Fran Drescher, Rue McClanahan & Betty White.
BEST PICTURE: Pan's Labyrinth
BEST DIRECTOR: Robert Altman, A Prairie Home Companion
BEST ACTOR: Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat
BEST ACTRESS: Helen Mirren, The Queen
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Jack Nicholson, The Departed & Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Meryl Streep, A Prairie Home Companion
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Michel Gondry, The Science of Sleep
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: William Monahan, The Departed
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: Javier Navarrete, Pan's Labyrinth
BEST ORIGINAL SONG: You Know My Name, Casino Royale

2007
Hosted by Patricia Clarkson, nominations announced by Philip Baker Hall, guest appearances by Bea Arthur, Lauren Bacall, Rue McClanahan, Lily Tomlin & Betty White
BEST PICTURE: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
BEST DIRECTOR: Andrew Dominik, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
BEST ACTOR: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
BEST ACTRESS: Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Bruce Greenwood, I'm Not There
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Brad Bird, Ratatouille
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: Nick Cave & Warren Ellis, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
BEST ORIGINAL SONG
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Roger Deakins, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

And this year...well, who knows? Patricia Clarkson will be doing the nominations and presenting Best Picture at the ceremonies. I'll be putting up a list of all films eligible, plus an additional 25 semi-finalists in each category.

Wonderful, Woody!

Believe everything you've heard: Vicky Cristina Barcelona is Woody Allen's best in years. Great ensemble, beautiful cinematography, a funny and at times bleak script. Brilliant.

Vicky (Rebecca Hall) is a gal with a plan for her life: study in Spain, then return to New York to marry her dependable, milquetoast fiance (Chris Messina), live modestly and happily. Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) is a spontaneous girl who never knows what she wants, just what she doesn't want. What she doesn't want this time around is to miss out on a fascinating life with painter Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem). But life with this master seducer of women (he tries it on both girls) means life with his sexy, unhinged ex-wife Maria Elena (Penelope Cruz). And there's the set-up. Most of which is provided for us by a narrator.

Can I say that this is Woody's best work of the decade? It hits all the right notes without being as suffocatingly depressing as Match Point, and only lightly touches on the screwball aspects of Scoop. His last effort to combine drama and comedy in a love story, Melinda and Melinda was almost unwatchable for me; this, however, is a masterpiece.

Yes, the narrator tells us many things that we could see happen instead. But it worked for me, as it made the film more of an examination of passion and of the choices we make, rather than a straight-up drama about Continental neurotics. This and the menage a trois theme reminded me of Jules et Jim, clearly a large influence on this narrative. We get Juan Antonio/Vicky/Cristina, Juan Antonio/Cristina/Maria Elena, Vicky/Juan Antonio/Doug, and so on.

I was constantly amazed that a 72-year-old man wrote and directed this. There's so much passion, so much virility, so much youth! It's an incredibly sexy story, where a lot of the tension is more erotic than the actual sex. Not to say that the sex is dull or anything (good Lord, no), but just feeling the electricity between two characters is hot.

The acting is great. Scarlett Johansson does her usual bit here. You know, as much as I like her, she really is a limited actress. She does what she needs to do, but it's not as impressive as her co-stars' efforts. Javier Bardem is the most natural, instantly charming as the artiste with a rather fatalistic view of life. Penelope Cruz absolutely sizzles when she's on the screen, and as much as I loved Volver, I think this may be my favorite role of hers to date. Rebecca Hall is a solid Vicky; her arc is perhaps the most interesting, as it is one of sexual awakening. In a roomful of crazies, she's the one with a head on her shoulders, though maybe not quite as secure as she hopes.

And Patricia Clarkson, who only appears in, like, six scenes, manages to give the best performance in the film with one heartbreaking scene halfway through. Those hands, that face - they tell us a whole history, a tale of disappointment, of dreams deferred and hope all but gone. An incredible performance, truly, marking another Clarkson great for 2008.

OK, let me put it this way: my second favorite movie of all time is Everyone Says I Love You, Woody Allen's 1996 musical that also dealt with love, threes, and narrators. And I will go so far as to declare that Vicky Cristina Barcelona is his best film since then. Sure, it has some flaws, but my GOD! that is still one bitchin' final product! ***3/4

Casting Coup: Mame

My love affair with Mame came by chance. In fifth grade, I had the honor of being Ms. Turner's student for a second year. She approached me one morning, and it was the first time she told me about her sister. She, too, was a teacher, at a high school down the street from Joe's Crab Shack. This teacher, a fiery red-head, was participating in the school's musical, and they needed a ten-year-old boy to play a very crucial role. Ms. Turner sent me off to audition: I was the first to arrive, and after that they canceled auditions. I was IT. I've never had an easier audition, and it was one of the proudest moments of my life.

Due to an unmotivated ensemble, however, the show was canceled before I was scheduled to start rehearsals with them. Fortunately, Virginia--not just my sister, but my soul sister--had the soundtrack. It was as though rehearsals never stopped. I continued listening to the CD, memorizing the songs and falling for this Angela Lansbury character. The more I got to know about the musical, the more I learned of the original stage play, Auntie Mame.

When Patrick Dennis is orphaned, he is taken by his nanny Agnes Gooch to the home of Auntie Mame, his eccentric aunt who lives in a plush penthouse in Beekman Place. In ten years, Mame takes Patrick through the Depression, his college years, marriage to a Southern Gentleman, his engagement to a college girl, an unplanned pregnancy, and on into the future.

I read the book of the musical and the script to the play. I saw the film with Rosalind Russell, and the musical with Lucille Ball. I've yet to read Patrick Dennis's original novel, but I'm in the middle of Chapter Two right now.

What concerns me about Mame is that the Lucille Ball version is the only musical adaptation we got on film. It's not atrocious. Bea Arthur and Jane Connell reprise their Broadway roles as Vera and Gooch, respectively. Robert Preston is a great Beauregarde Jackson Pickett Burnside. But Lucy...I don't love Lucy. Not in this one. She can't sing. She's just not a singer. She does a rhythmic talking through each song, and when she does sing, it's AWFUL. Why should one of the greatest musicals be subjected to a sub-par rendering? Why remake a perfect musical adaptation (My Fair Lady) instead of revisiting an oldie but goodie?

Well, I'll remake that movie. Right now. With this damn cast. Click Read More! to get the D.L.


MRS. BURNSIDE
Who is She: Mother Burnside is the matriarch of the Burnsides. A large, intimidating Southern woman surrounded by vultures waiting for her to die so that they can collect on her will. Mother Burnside is Mame's future mother-in-law, and that's fucking terrifying.

Awesome Quote: "Mother of jefferson Davis! She's passing the fox!"

My Choice: An Academy Award Winner for Best Actress (Misery), she has played a Southern woman a number of times (Fried Green Tomatoes, for example). She also has musical experience (TV movie of Annie), and while Mother Burnside doesn't actually have a song, she could do background vocals.

Kathy Bates (Rat Race, Titanic)


PEGEEN RYAN
Who is She: Near the end, Patrick brings his fiancee to meet Mame and her friends. He meets this gal, who Mame hires as either a maid or an interior decorator. I forget how close the musical is to the original. Anyway, she's smarter, cooler, and much less of an uptight bitch. She's the right girl, but does he know it?

Awesome Quote:
Patrick: "Marriage is a great institution."
Pegeen: "Yeah, but who wants to be in an institution?"

My Choice: Pegeen is Irish, so its only natural that a redhead be chosen. This is a non-singing role, so it can be anyone, no matter what their vocal talents are. And it should be a babe.

Jenna Fischer (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Blades of Glory)


CLAUDE & DORIS UPSON
Who Are They: Gloria's parents, upper-class WASPs who own a nice piece of land called "Upson Downs." Get it? The Upsons are scandalized by unmarried preggos, poor people, and Jews.

My Choices: They must look comfortable in period WASP garb, and look wholesome. By which I mean, bred. One of them is an Academy Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (Pieces of April)

Bill Irwin (Across the Universe, Lady in the Water) as Claude Upson

Patricia Clarkson (Married Life, Jumanji) as Doris Upson

SALLY CATO
Who is She: A Southern belle who's after Beau, and Beau's money to go with it. She jump-starts the fox hunt in an attempt to kill Mame, Sally's greatest threat to Southern blue-bloodedry.

Awesome Quote:
Sally Cato: "Oh, Mame, I'm so excited! I'm just gonan hold my breath 'til dawn!"
Mame: "Do that, honey."

My Choice: I chose a Southern belle who oozes sensuality and gentility, someone who can play both wholesome and bitchy.

Kristin Chenoweth (TV's Pushing Daisies, Bewitched)


GLORIA UPSON
Who is She: A rich girl who Patrick meets at university. Gloria is spoiled, prejudiced, vain and stupid.

Awesome Quote: "Bunny Bixler and I were in the semi-finals - the very semi-finals, mind you - of the ping-pong tournament at the club and this ghastly thing happened. We were both playing way over our heads and the score was 29-28. And we had this really terrific volley and I stepped back to get this really terrific shot. And I stepped on the ping-pong ball! I just squashed it to bits. And then Bunny and I ran to the closet of the game room to get another ping-pong ball and the closet was locked! Imagine? We had to call the whole thing off. Well, it was ghastly. Well, it was just ghastly."

My Choice: She's played spoiled, prejudiced, vain and stupid people before. She's also young and looks well-bred.

Kirsten Dunst (Spider-Man, Drop Dead Gorgeous)


DWIGHT BABCOCK
Who is He: The trustee left in charge of Patrick's inheritance, it means he also has a hand in Patrick's future. Babcock is a friend of the Upsons, meaning he shares their same views on the un-rich and the non-Protestant. He is a true snob, and tries to break Patrick free from Mame's grasp throughout his life.

Awesome Quote: "For nine years, Mame Dennis Burnside, I have done everything in my power to protect this boy from your idiotic, cockeyed nincompoopery."

My Choice: I wanted someone who looks professional, and can pull off that snob effect. He did this especially well in an episode of "The Nanny" in which he played CC's brother, DD. Their family name on the show: Babcock.

Michael McKean (Clue, The Producers: The Movie Musical)


LINDSAY WOOLSEY
Who is He: A progressive schoolteacher and friend of mame's, he finds the Montessori school to be old-fashioned and fuddy-duddy. His school holds classes completely nude, in order to strip repression off of his charges. Patrick's lessons there last a day, but Woolsey forever remains by Mame's side.

My Choice: I went with an Academy Award Nominee for Best Actor (Chaplin) who looks like a sexy Bohemian.

Robert Downey, Jr. (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Iron Man)


AGNES GOOCH
Who is She: Patrick's nanny, an introverted Catholic woman. Mame opens her up to new horizons with a new makeover. Gooch opens up her blouse and winds up getting pregnant.

Songs: St. Bridget, We Need a Little Christmas, Gooch's Song

Awesome Quote:
Gooch: "I'm a bachelor girl. My baby is going to be a little bas-"
Mame: "Agnes!"

My Choice: What I like about her features is that she can pass for both beautiful (as she needs to be for one scene) and frumpy (for most of the film). She can do it. Her voice has the proper range for Gooch.

Idina Menzel (Enchanted, Rent)


PATRICK DENNIS
Who is He: Mame's nephew, a writer. A good-looking young man, Patrick learns all there is about life from his Auntie Mame. As he gets older and meets more of Babcock's crowd, however, he becomes more snobbish and disapproving. It's up to Mame, Pegeen, and a few stiff drinks to save the day!

Songs:
YOUNGER PATRICK: St. Bridget, My Best Girl, We Need a Little Christmas, The Letter
OLDER PATRICK: The Letter

Awesome Quote:
"And if, some day, when everything turns out wrong
You're through with the human race
Come running to me
For you'll always be
My best girl."

My Choice: I've decided to keep Younger Patrick up to the unknown brigade. But older Patrick can be played by someone known, someone who can sing.

That's a video of a young Academy Award Nominee for eBest Actor (Half Nelson), but he also sang recently:

He's also a Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Actor (Lars and the Real Girl)

Ryan Gosling (The Notebook, Remember the Titans)


VERA CHARLES
Who is She: Mame's best friend, an actress from Pittsburgh who affects a British accent to sound more posh. Vera is a lush and a brat, but is always ready with a quip here and a smoke there. She's so delightfully bitchy sometimes.

Songs: It's Today, The Man in the Moon, Bosom Buddies

Awesome Quote:
Vera: (to Pegeen) "Congratulations."
Patrick: "No, Vera, this is Gloria."
Vera: "Pity."

My Choice: True, she already played Mame on Broadway. But she's much more perfect for the role of Vera. A great singer, she's demonstrated her vocals in such films as Chicago and Mamma Mia!. It's a part she could play in her sleep, sure, but she always delivers. It's just too much fun.

Christine Baranski (The Birdcage, The Ref)


BEAUREGARDE JACKSON PICKETT BURNSIDE
Who is He: Beau is a Southern gentleman who meets Mame while Christmas shopping in New York. Mame is fired due to her inability to properly look after his needs, but Beau is charmed and takes her home to Georgia. They marry and travel the world.

Songs: Mame

My Choice: A handsome actor who can sing, dance, and do a Southern accent. He's an Academy Award Winner for Best Supporting Actor (The Usual Suspects) and Best Actor (American Beauty)

Kevin Spacey (TV's Recount, Superman Returns)


MAME DENNIS
Who is She: Everyone's favorite aunt, a force of nature with skin. Mame is a free spirit, always changing outfits, interior decorators, hair color, etc.

Songs: It's Today, Open a New Window, My Best Girl, We Need a Little Christmas, Bosom Buddies, That's How Young I Feel, If He Walked Into My Life Today, Finale

Awesome Quote: "Life is a banquet, and most poor sons-of-bitches are starving to death."

My Choice: She doesn't do musicals often, but when she does, she's a natural. And she LOOKS like Auntie Mame. She SOUNDS like Auntie Mame. She's the perfect person to carry on the Rosalind Russell tradition of class and cool. She is an Academy Award Winner for Best Actress (Dead Man Walking) and a Hollmann Award Nominee for Best Supporting Actress (In the Valley of Elah).

Susan Sarandon (Speed Racer, The Rocky Horror Picture Show)

Attention Mame fans: Any problems that you see? Or did something strike your fancy to the point of praise? Tell me about it!