Anyway, in the 14 film categories: what will win, and what deserves to win? Let's go through it!
Best Motion Picture - Drama
Should win: The Post. Solid studio filmmaking, stellar cast, surprisingly fun.
WHO WON: Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri. Goddamn.
Best Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Should win: Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread. So petty! So hilarious!
WHO WON: Boy was I wrong! Oldman wins!
Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Should win: Hawkins. Besides the rest of that mishegas above, she's also really fucking good in her movie. This and Maudie are great showcases for her superlative physicality.
WHO WON: Ai-yi-yi, McDormand.
Comedy categories and more, after the jump....
Best Motion Picture - Musical/Comedy
Should win: Lady Bird. What a gem!
WHO WON: You damn right it's Lady Bird.
Best Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical/Comedy
Should win: Hugh Jackman, The Greatest Showman. Don't @ me.
WHO WON: Franco.
Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical/Comedy
Should win: Ronan. She's the heart and soul of her movie.
WHO WON: Ronan! Coming for that Oscar!
Best Supporting Actress
Should win: Metcalf. She nails motherly affection and exhaustion.
WHO WON: Girl, I told you to watch out for her - Allison Janney wins for I, Tonya.
Best Supporting Actor
Should win: Richard Jenkins, The Shape of Water. The best G.B.F.
WHO WON: Whoa whoa, I should have seen this coming, the Globes throw in curveballs - Sam Rockwell won for Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri
Should win: Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water. And he just might!
WHO WON: Del Toro!
Should win: Lady Bird. What else is this movie up for? I'm most likely voting for it.
WHO WON: Called it! Three Billboards, baby!
Best Animated Feature
Will win: Coco
Should win: The Boss Baby. But I didn't see The Breadwinner, Ferdinand or Loving Vincent.
WHO WON: You betcha, Coco.
Best Foreign Language Film
Should win: I guess First They Killed My Father, which I loved...but it's the only nominee I've seen.
WHO WON: Neither - In the Fade.
Should win: Phantom Thread. Sorry, Desplat!
WHO WON: I was right, it went to Desplat for The Shape of Water.
Best Original Song
Should win: "Mighty River" from Mudbound
WHO WON: Yup, Pasek & Paul for "This is Me".
What do you think wins tonight? Do I sound crazy? Sound off, and watch the 75th Golden Globes, airing live 8ET/5PT on NBC.