Who's Getting A Globe?

The 75th Golden Globes are tonight! I have seen all but nine of the movies nominated - Jesus, when I see that number, it feels like a lot. Oh, well.

Anyway, in the 14 film categories: what will win, and what deserves to win? Let's go through it!

Best Motion Picture - Drama

Will win: The Shape of Water. You wouldn't think the human-monster love story would be the least divisive movie of any lineup, but 2017 was full of surprises.

Should win: The Post. Solid studio filmmaking, stellar cast, surprisingly fun.

WHO WON: Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri. Goddamn.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

Will win: Timothée Chalamet, Call Me By Your Name. I don't see a lot stopping his awards season momentum. People love him! And while Gary Oldman's playing Winston Churchill, if the HFPA liked him, this probably wouldn't be his first nomination.

Should win: Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread. So petty! So hilarious!

WHO WON: Boy was I wrong! Oldman wins!

Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Will win: Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water. Even though Frances McDormand may be overdue for a win from the Globes (it's never happened!), the group's international makeup will probably benefit Hawkins, who also won their Musical/Comedy prize for Happy-Go-Lucky nine years ago.

Should win: Hawkins. Besides the rest of that mishegas above, she's also really fucking good in her movie. This and Maudie are great showcases for her superlative physicality.

WHO WON: Ai-yi-yi, McDormand.

Comedy categories and more, after the jump....

SAG Award Nominations

The film nominees for the Screen Actors Guild Awards, as announced this morning by the very giddy duo of Olivia Munn and Niecy Nash.

Female Actor in a Supporting Role

Mary J. Blige, Mudbound

Hong Chau, Downsizing

Holly Hunter, The Big Sick

Allison Janney, I, Tonya

Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird

My predictions: 3/5 - Octavia Spencer missed out, which surprises me; so did Julia Roberts, but I knew that was a risky prediction. Four of these ladies also showed up on the Golden Globes' lineup; the real winner, in spirit, is Holly Hunter.

More surprises, after the jump.

Predictably SAGgy

The nominations for the Screen Actirs Guild Awards will be announced tomorrow. How about some predictions?

Best Ensemble

Lady Bird

Mudbound

The Post

The Shape of Water

Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri

Not having seen The Post, I can only say that it's a hell of a cast they've assembled. My other four picks are all films where you really feel the community of characters on-screen - not just the headliners who will get their names on the official nominee roster, but the bit characters, too. The brother's girlfriend in Lady Bird, the neighbor losing her mind in Mudbound, the meek security man in The Shape of Water, the black chief in Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri: they are all indelible to their films and stories, all brought to vivid life by their actors. That's what makes for an Outstanding Cast.

The remainder, after the jump

The Awards So Far

Derelict in my duties, I have been! I haven't talked about the National Board of Review, the New York Critics, or the Los Angeles Critics. I don't remember if I have before, but I definitely keep charts of all three.

Here's what happened:

NATIONAL BOARD OF REVIEW: Mad Max: Fury Road won Best Picture; The Martian won Best Actor (Matt Damon), Best Director (Ridley Scott), and Best Adapted Screenplay (Drew Goddard). This immediately reminded me of my trip to South Korea, mostly because that's where I saw Mad Max, but also because the friend I was visiting at the time wound up loving The Martian so much, he saw it thrice (at least) in theaters. So that was interesting. Meanwhile, Brie Larson (Room), Sylvester Stallone (Creed), Jennifer Jason Leigh (The Hateful Eight) round out the actors; Quentin Tarantino wins Original Screenplay for The Hateful Eight.

NEW YORK FILM CRITICS CIRCLE: Carol, which I plan to see a second time this week, dominated with four wins, including Film, Director (Todd Haynes), Screenplay (Phyllis Nagy), and Cinematography (Edward Lachman). The big shocker: Michael Keaton winning Actor for Spotlight, an ensemble film full of supporting actors/actresses. Supporting Actor, instead, went to Mark Rylance for Bridge of Spies (deserved); Supporting Actress to Kristen Stewart for Clouds of Sils Maria (the only movie I saw during my one week in New York City, which I visited for the first time a week before South Korea); Actress to Saoirse Ronan for Brooklyn, a dream of a film, a phenomenal performance.

LOS ANGELES FILM CRITICS ASSOCIATION: Spotlight may be the best movie of the year -- certainly LAFCA thought so, since, in addition to Screenplay, that's what it won. Then the rest of the categories spread the love: Mad Max: Fury Road's George Miller for Best Director, Steve Jobs' Michael Fassbender for Best Actor, 45 Years' Charlotte Rampling for Best Actress, 99 Homes' Michael Shannon for Best Supporting Actor; Ex Machina's leading lady Alicia Vikander for Best Supporting Actress.

Joe Reid pointed out on Twitter that this is the first time since 1988 all three critics' bodies split in every category. By the way, Oscar awarded Rain Man for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, and Best Original Screenplay that year -- total mentions by any of these groups: 0.

In the morning, another group will announce their nominees -- the Screen Actors Guild. My predictions, after the jump.

A Lady's Bullet Never Misses

After I hated the first draft and the computer froze during the second draft, I feel like I should give up on my grand Femme Fatale Review, a look at the films Sucker Punch, Cat Run and Hanna. I always hope that I'm going to finally write a review that's a little more critical, a wee meaningful, with insight into social implications and reflections on the world at large. Alas, the Fates conspire against me, and only want me to express feelings on a Cold Stone Creamery level.

There is no "hate it" option because that's silly

Admittedly, this is probably for the best, since I really have no idea what to say about these films that goes beyond gut reactions. I know that Sucker Punch's strength lies in its overcoming the exploitation of its protagonists by allowing them to take control using the very shackles (or fetish wear) that bind them. I know that Cat Run's weakness lies in a heroine that does nothing but run around in a form-fitting outfit, a hero that's a pretentious douchebag, and a black sidekick so painfully stereotypical he makes JJ Walker look like Huey Newton. I also know that Hanna is just fucking cool, with a neat fairy tale mystique complementing an arty late 60s/early 70s-esque aesthetic. But that's all the meaningful thought I've managed to muster for the films, which is a shame; these films have more going on, it seems to me, than I give justice to.

Ok, maybe not Cat Run. That movie has very little to offer besides Janet McTeer as a prim and proper English assassin. The rest of the film is a chore to sit through. My chief complaint: what a misleading poster, a silhouetted woman (Paz Vega's titular heroine) running with a gun. I don't remember Cat ever doing anything with a gun. I think she tries to threaten Janet McTeer with one at some point, but McTeer ain't playing that game. No, Cat stays true to the title, never doing anything except running, looking shocked, and falling in ridiculous love with Scott Mechlowicz's douchebag hero. I am wary of any "hero" having a high I.Q., culinary skills, a humble nature, a desire to live in Eastern Europe, and the observational skills to say things like, "She has a bruise on her thumb, the same my sister had when she would let her baby teethe on her thumb, so this woman has an infant that's not with her." Yeah, way to notice a detail like that on a woman dashing through your restaurant.

No.

Good thing they managed to balance it out by having a sidekick who just wants to get laid and make HILARIOUS references to pop/dance/rap songs -- at one point, while observing an ejaculatory stain (yes), he says, "To the window, to the wall." THANK YOU BLACK MAN CONTINUE TO BE WACKY WHILE THE WHITE PEOPLE HANDLE EVERYTHING. I guess the filmmaker thought the presence of D.L. Hughley as an independent war veteran missing both legs and an arm was progressive enough? God. This movie.

Do it, Janet. For the good of mankind.

Now, if you want a great on-the-run movie featuring a real femme fatale, look no further than Hanna. Saoirse Ronan rightfully described her performance as "feral", but there's also an innocence and naivete in the role. Really, I went into the film knowing very little about it -- I knew that her father trained her to be an assassin, and Cate Blanchett has a Southern accent and red hair. Oh, heavens, that's all surface level, and part of that is inaccurate anyway. Hanna's venturing out into the "real world" after years of isolation present her with more complications than CIA-paid assassins and Blanchett's weirdly sexy performance. This girl has never experienced electricity, music, the hustle and bustle of the city. No wonder the sound design is so precise!

This is how we doooo iiiiit....

I sometimes feel that a young actress's first Oscar nomination, more often than not, is as far as she will go; with Ronan, I trust that I am very, very wrong. That girl commands every moment she appears on screen, expertly balancing the little girl growing up with the deadly killer. The movie is book-ended by the same line of dialogue in different circumstances, and Ronan left me breathless both times. Her performance overwhelms as much as the Chemical Brothers' score, one that is set to repeat on my iTunes, one that I catch myself constantly humming. And the costumes and the production design, and Blanchett and Bana and Tom Hollander as a jumpsuit-wearing, peroxide-blond assassin....oh, Hanna, you kill me.

Er...poor choice of words?

To a lesser degree am I slain by Sucker Punch, but I cop to loving that film as well. I like the play between the female ensemble -- jaded Sweet Pea (Hollmann Award Nominee Abbie Cornish), still dreamy Rocket (Jena Malone), weak Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens, proving herself with each new film to be growing as a performer), stubborn and desperate Baby Doll (Emily Browning), and Amber (Jamie Chung). Amber's kind of...just there. I like the conceit of a girl locked up in an asylum by an evil stepfather fantasizing that she's an orphan sold to a brothel by an evil priest who fantasizes that she is a member of an all-girl team of warriors battling dragons, orcs and steampunk zombies (I swear to God, the next person who calls them steampunk Nazis gets a knock from me -- they reference the Kaiser, there are WWI trenches, uniforms...German =/= Nazi).

Life is hard sometimes.

I'm down with making your own reality, self-sacrifice, sisterhood, and gunning down samurai rock monsters. I love the use of music throughout, with Baby Doll singing off-screen and new versions of songs like "White Rabbit" underscoring her fantasies. Besides, the fantasies are supposed to be taking place while she dances, so it's only right to have the music take over -- the greatest use of this is in the "Tomorrow Never Knows"/Kitchen Knife segment, featuring an old-timey radio and robots. It excited me, moved me almost to tears. I don't know how well the film will play on the small-screen, but when I sat in that theater, I was impressed.

By the acting, clearly.

So there you have it, late as can be, but here, here, here! Have y'all gotten a chance to see any of these yet? Tell me I have some fellow Sucker Punch fans out there.

Oh Yay! Oh No!

Of S-Men and missed opportunities:

A SINGLE MAN

Glad I caught this for a second time (this time seeing the first fifteen minutes). A beautiful, moving film with Colin Firth's career-defining performance at the center of it. As George, the British college prof mourning the death of his life partner (Matthew Goode) in 1960s LA, Firth is sad, funny, hopeful, pathetic. His silence says more than his words, though these, too, are spoken beautifully. Goode is great in an affecting role seen only through flashbacks; for if we cannot like Jim, why should we care about, well, anything in the movie? Luckily, we love Jim, and Goode's portrayal, alongside the screenplay by director Tom Ford and David Scearce, are the source of such affection. Equally brilliant is Julianne Moore as George's nearest, dearest, and saddest friend, Charley. From her first scene, we see that she's never given up on the idea of a future with George -- maybe tonight's the night he comes to his senses! -- while her second scene allows us to see her precise and sad beauty regiment.

Tom Ford, the designer-turned-director, does a truly remarkable job with his first feature. Everybody and everything is beautiful, from the clothes to the art direction to the effective cinematography by Eduard Grau (the way little things brighten George's day: beauty worthy of tears). Some choices, though, are a little hard to follow and risk pulling the viewer out of the movie. Quick cuts to eyes and lips, for example. While I understand that we're getting everything from George's point of view, at times the cuts came so quick that I was startled out of the picture. I was quickly brought back, of course, by Firth and Grau and the score by Abel Korzeniowksi, but there were a few times when the style threatened to overcome the substance. Hopefully, Ford's next feature will dedicate itself completely to the latter. Hopefully, Ford will have a next feature.


SHERLOCK HOLMES

Well, I liked it. Like Monty Python and the Holy Grail, it takes a romp to fully realize the age it's portraying. Surely this muddy, steamy, dank Victorian London is closer to the truth than the polished period films of Merchant-Ivory (much as I love them). Hans Zimmer's score is one of his most engaging, taking an unexpected zither route that works much better than you'd think. Unless you'd think it was the perfect choice, in which case you're right, so go you. I like the end -- as with the stories, the question is always "how", and there is little opportunity for the audience to solve it themselves. Holmes has always been blessed with knowledge that no lay person could possibly understand, and always withheld clues until the end. That's how the books were, and that's how the movie is.

Sorry if I sound defensive. I just really liked the movie. Robert Downey Jr. was a great Holmes. He's not your mama's Holmes, nor was he the definitive one (Jeremy Brett, ladies and gents), but he had all the smug smarts of the character. Mark Strong's villain is deliciously foul, and the hints at a sequel featuring Moriarty thrill me. Rachel McAdams, however, is dreadfully miscast as master thief/love interest Irene Adler. I couldn't help but think how I would have preferred a Maria Bello or, even better, Kathleen Turner in 1980.

Making up for it: Jude Law as Watson. When I was a boy, I always wanted to be Watson. Imagine my disappointment when he was generally portrayed as a buffoon. Here, fortunately, he's the Watson I grew up with: smart, tough, and sharp (though not as sharp as Holmes). Law and Downey have great chemistry together. Watson is dashing and fun, and although a bit of a stuffed shirt, you totally get the affection between these two men. I loved it.


THE LOVELY BONES

What a disappointing movie. It starts out promisingly enough, but by the time it gets to the strangest Susan Sarandon montage I've ever seen, it's all too clear that someone -- Peter Jackson? His co-writers? The Studio? -- dropped the fucking ball. It's still an all right film, but over-indulgent and lacking in any real emotion. Some scenes are so inappropriately juxtaposed that it is neither poignant nor ironically hilarious, just confusing. Saoirse Ronan and Stanley Tucci are very good, great even, but they are adrift in a sea of monotony. Heaven is beautifully rendered, at least -- but to what avail? Maybe Jackson should have spent more time on Earth with the themes and FUCKING TITLE and less in Heaven, the land of who gives a fuck.


THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS

I'll just remember The Dark Knight as Heath Ledger's final film. Terry Gilliam went on about how Heath improvised most of his scenes, and everyone was thrilled at the results. Well, those "funny" improvs are some of the worst parts of the movie, along with an unevenly written protagonist (Christopher Plummer's trying, though) and an ending that drops the ball. Visually marvelous and with a fine performance by Andrew Garfield, Gilliam once again proves that he has a great imagination undone by an inability to know what to do with it. I liked Parnassus, but I also worked to do so. Mehhh....